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Sunny's Guide to Cocksucking
This week's update by: SunnySlut     Last week's feature Sunny's Guide to Anal Sex

Readers Ask: How do I give a proper blowjob??

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Blowjobs 101

Well, there’s no “proper” way to give someone a blow job, I mean, blow jobs are like pizza, even if they’re bad, they’re still pretty good, according to the boys who helped me in my quest for the perfect blow job techniques. So ladies, (and guys, if you’re into that sort of thing), throw out your Cosmo magazines that are full of shit, pull up a chair & take notes

First of all, think of the head of the penis like your very own clitoris. The clitoris and head of the penis have the exact same nerve endings and are made of the exact same tissue.

Now think about your tongue. It’s a muscle, and like all muscles it can be flexed or relaxed to create a soft or hard tongue. Ladies, you know what happens when a guy mashes your clit with a hard tongue right? The next thing you know, he’s prying you from the ceiling and you’re mumbling something about kicking him in the face next time. Well, the same thing goes for guys. Because the head of the penis is like your own clit, a soft tongue is recommended. In fact, if you look closely at an erect penis, there’s a small scar (if he’s cut) where the head and the shaft meet. (If he’s not cut, it’s where the pulled down foreskin attaches to the head.) Survey says that’s the ticket to bliss if it’s manipulated properly.

Okay, it’s easier to give a blow job if the guy’s already hard. If he’s not, stroke him until he’s hard and then go down on him. The first few mouth movements should be soft, sort of ease into it. If you don’t, he can get overly sensitive right away and we don’t want that.

First, swirl your tongue over the head, especially where the head meets the shaft, but don’t put too much pressure into it, use a “soft tongue”. After about 20 seconds of doing this, plunge down and take him as deep into your throat as you can, stiffening your tongue so it slides down the underside of the shaft.

While he’s as far down your throat as you’re comfortable with, move your tongue up and down the shaft, stick your tongue out as far as you can to lick the base of the penis (if you can get it that far) or his balls.

When you come back up, rapidly wiggle your tongue back and forth along the base. Repeat this whole process a few times and try not to giggle as he gasps every time you deep throat, try to do that part when you think he’s not expecting it so he’ll begin to anticipate it.

Remember while doing this that you have two hands as well as a mouth. Stroke his balls while you’re tonguing the head of his dick. Playing with the balls while giving head is also a good way of figuring out what he likes if your boy’s not very vocal. Typically the balls will sort of scrunch up a bit when something feels particularly good and they’ll scrunch up completely when he’s about to cum.

If you do the above techniques, he’s going to last longer usually, so if you’re getting tired or “cocksucker’s cramp” you might want to speed things up by doing the age old “bobbing” method. Guys seem to vary on their appreciation of the act because girls seem to go at it much too fast. I’ve found that if you go up and down the shaft with your mouth, it’s good practice to make ample use of your tongue at the same time by wiggling it back and forth. Also, instead of the standard up and down movement, really get into it and turn your head from side to side a bit, sort of like a corkscrew motion.

If you’re doing this in the light, make sure you look up at him a few times while you’re sucking him off because guys seem to really be into that.

So, you’ve got him to the point of blowing his load…you’ve got three options: swallow, spit, or hop on. Most guys prefer to have you swallow, but my research has shown that most guys would prefer you to hop on rather than spit if it comes down to that.

If you don’t like having cum in your mouth, there’s various ways to alter it’s taste, unfortunately, the texture’s always going to be the same. I know some girls who have grown accustomed to the taste of it but to be honest I have no advice on how to go about doing that other than practice. (Your mother always said practice makes perfect, prove her right and tell her about your achievements the next time you see her.)

I would also like to note that the male g-spot (which is actually called the a-spot, I learned that the other night watching the Discovery channel) is the prostate gland, which you can only get to by inserting your finger into his rectum and doing a ‘come here” motion with a finger or two, towards the front of him. Cosmo magazine will tell you to “sneak a finger in there” while you’re giving him head but the boys I talked to when researching this article begged me to put something in here about ASKING FIRST. Definitely discuss adding this practice to your foreplay routine before you end up having to coax your boy out from under the bed.

Good luck and happy sucking!


Doc Weasel's 2¢
This is indeed the definitive guide to cocksucking, and if every girl would take this page and learn it by heart, we men would do anything you told us, at any time, just for one of these absolutely scientifically proven excellent blowjobs, as described by the lovely and talented SunnySlut. However, there are a couple tiny points that very important from the male perspective. (Sunny, please excuse this inclusion, it is in no way meant to lessen your wonderful lesson).

1. Teeth. Be very careful with them. A guy's cock gets very sensitive when you are giving head, and the best headjob technique in the world won't mean jack if you are nicking his head with your teeth. If you have ever had a guy tell you basically to "just stop" it was probably because he couldn't take the teeth nipping, however slight you think it is.

2. Remember that the preliminaries are great, we love it, but the main event, and what feels best, is to make your mouth as much like a pussy as possible and let us fuck it. That is the ugly truth about headjobs you won't read in Cosmo.

--doc weasel
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