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Kill the Children
This week's update by: doc     Last week's feature Goth Blog
Stop the Suffering-Kill the Children
There is so much suffering, hunger, ignorance, pain and ugliness in the world today. You can help. Here's how:

Kill The Children Federation

Abdullah Oblongata

Dear Concerned Citizen,

This is Abdullah Oblongata. She is six years old. She has never even seen a glass of milk. She lives in a cardboard box in the shanty villages outside Baghdad in Iraq. The cruel US military has destroyed her country's government, murdered its officials, and continues to hound its glorious leader. Their warplanes killed an estimated 20 million Iraqis and left poor little children like Abdullah orphans. The US and its allies destroyed the luxurious prisons and torture camps that were homes to millions of children like Abdullah. In the former Ba'athist regime, children were 'dealt with' so they would not suffer long years of neglect and hunger. But now, all that is over.

Every day we are confronted with appeals to help children like Abdullah who are starving, illiterate, diseased, poverty-stricken and lice-ridden. I am sure you are as distressed as I am about seeing all this misery on your nightly news, in the newspapers, on radio, and yes, on websites the world over.

Abdullah is doomed to a life of degradation and misery. The cycle was repeated as Abdullahs the world over had their own children. We here at Kill the Children have found the solution to break this brutal chain of desperation. Now there is something you can do to end little Abdullah's suffering as well as the sadness and misery we are exposed to every day. Now that Saddam and his Ba'athist party are out of business, there is noone left to end the suffering of Abdullah and millions like her. Its up to us, and YOU!

We here at Kill the Children will shoot Abdullah in the head and throw her into a mass grave. But bullets, guns and bulldozers cost money. The need is great and resources are scarce. Here's how you can help. Your donation of $15 allows you to select a child from one of our Kill the Children special regions. Soon you will receive a photograph of your child's resting place and an actual death certificate filled out by authorized U.S. personnel. An additional contribution of $5 will provide a shovelfull of lime; $10 buys a cloth rag to keep the dirt out of her face; $25 she gets her own little shallow hole instead of a mass grave; and $180 we'll send you her skull, which makes a lovely ashtray and conversation piece.

If enough unselfish people like yourself help, then someday there will be no more Abdullahs. Then all these unsettling ads can cease and Sally Struthers can retire.

Don't you think little Abdullah has suffered enough? Then act today and complete the sponsorship application below.

Thanks So much.

Sincerely,
Gov. Howard Dean



Partial list of Kill the Children national sponsors and foster soldiers

Barbra Streisand
Sen. John Kerry
Sam Donaldson
Dennis Kuchinik
Sen. Bob Graham
Sen. Joe Lieberman
British Broadcasting Corporation
CNN
Sen. Barbara Boxer
Rosie O'Donnell
Paula Poundstone
Alec Baldwin
George Stephanopolous
Cher
Sean Penn
Peter Arnett
Bill Maher
Al Franken
Mr. and Mrs. Hillary Rodham-Clinton
Mayor Marion Barry
Rev. Al Sharpton
Rob Reiner
Albert and Tipper Gore
Geraldo Rivera
Joe Conason
Peter Jennings
Dan Rather
Tom Hanks
Rita Wilson
Susan Sarandon
Tim Robbins
Ed Asner
Carol Moseley Braun
Gov. Gray Davis
Sinead O'Conner

Other available countries and areas -
Taiwan, Peru, Korea, Iran, The Philippines, Bolivia, Ecuador, Brazil, South Vietnam, Kurdistan, Mexico, Lebanon, Hong Kong, Paraguay, Syria, Africa
in the USA -
Appalachia, LA;Watts, East St. Louis, Miami;Liberty City, most of NYC, American Indian reservations and migrant camps

Stop the Suffering-Kill the Children

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