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Princess Di Exposè
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Shocking New Facts About Princess Di Revealed in
World Exclusive Book Preview!!
New facts have come out in former royal butler Paul Burrell's shocking new book "Living With Princess Di". docweasel.com has obtained a copy of the manuscript and we can reveal these shocking new facts about the martyred royal babe.
Excerpts from "Living With Princess Di"
Sometimes went to the ladies alone, without 'Royal Wipers'
Found out Prince William had a crush on his nanny; had the young woman drowned
Actually liked some French people
Had a passion for pogs
Had ass branded "Insert Cock Here V"
Hooked on Phonics
Busted for shoplifting at the Gap, '73
Dated Ozzy for a time, late 70's
Immune to mace, raped at will
Would often 'blame it on the dog'
Had 6 toes on left foot, 4 on right
Had a pet toad named "Jim Dandy"
Played Wimbledon with no panties
Could benchpress 300 lbs, 100 reps
Douched with Dom Perignon '47
Would often attend Celebrity Balls after exhausting day of shopping and trying on outfits
Refused to swallow Charles' "Royal Jelly"
Pierced labia had 3 rings, 1 bolt, 2 studs
Liked to have chauffeur drive at excessive speeds for kicks
Blew every member of the old Baltimore Colts on a bet as a schoolgirl
Wrecked her chopper in Altamonte, was laid up for 2 years without releasing new album
Believed 'Children can give you a measure of immortality' and proved it by having their fresh, young organs transplanted into her body
Obsessively wore the same panties for months at a time
Bitch-slapped the Queen Mum for getting wise-ass with her
Had sex with Ellen DeGeneres before it became fashionable
Once had short conversation with commoner
Had uncanny ability to ignore people under her station
Once ate eighty 'Ball-Park Franks' at one sitting
Killed a man with a 2x4 when fucked up on Angel Dust in '81
Pulled a gun on Robert Wagner during a poker game
Could tell you the name of every member of Kiss' roadie crew and whether or not they were circumcised
Pigged out on pizza and blintzes every morning, liposuction every Saturday
Bit off one of Cher's nipples in bar-room catfight over Gregg Allman
Would rudely eat french-fries off your plate, when you ask her if she wants an order of fries, she would say, "No, I'll just have a couple of yours"
Required all her bridesmaids to get tattoo: "Diana's Bitch"
Told big fat lies just to get on the cover of People Magazine
Once ran out of Kotex, used palace phone book
"Didn't take no shit, didn't give a shit"
Won countless bar bets proving she could kiss her own asshole
Had her tennis instructor knighted for "Masterful Cocksmanship"
Wrote #1 Solid Gold Hit about the Lord, later found to have ripped the melody off the Chirelles "He's So Fine"
Arranged for her skull to be made into ashtray for men's room in Memphis Denny's
Caught crabs from David Cassidy in '75
Never achieved orgasm without nipple clamps
Left her 'life-time supply' of Ass-troglide to charity
Ran drugs for guns racket, made millions, lost it on Keno
Flicked a cig into the eye of Dan Rather during interview, told him to "bite her pasty white royal ass"
Used TV sets instead of mirrors to fix makeup, hair
Hair one solid piece, bolted on every morning
"Let the dogs out" on occasion
Was quite the clotheshorse
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Reported by DWGazette Royals Watch editor Stiv Bators
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