This week brings you more tales from the wilds of the colleges of Central Florida from our resident Co-ed Sexpert, Amy Eliza
So like, I just started back at my 2nd semester, which is a freakin close call cuz I totally swear that hummer I gave Prof Mendez was only half assed and would only bring me up to like an F+. But no, that C totally brought my average up and here I am, back to dish on some of the bestest times I've had this year. I know the guys call us freshmeat instead of freshman, but come on, who exactly has the meat? The thinger between their legs is wayyy more familiar to me than most of the poonanie they've tried to get at.
K, so, Melissa had to take the semester off due to some bad food poisoning she got over the holidays. She said she ate some greek sypes of herphilis or something and it just completely fucked her up. Good thing I only eat american. My new roommate Angie is like the sweetest ever so we do everything together. Like the other night when we went down to this tattoo parlor so I could get a My Little Pony and daisy design on my lower back and Angie got a personal piercing (all piercings are personal, so like, I don't know why she thought hers was so special).
It was a total bonding experience. I totally understand why they have the curtains that block off the area where they do work. I was like so worried that someone would possibly see my plumber butt so it took care of that. Angie was in such pain tho cuz I could hear her making such a commotion in the lil booth next to me, y'know? I dunno if the piercing chick was new or like mental because Angie had to totally point out where it was supposed go over and over. I mean, who forgets where to pierce? So Angie's all going "There! There! That's right!" and the guy who's doing my tattoo is just laughing cuz the girl doing Angie is such a tard.
Anyway, we both finish up and one of the guys who works behind the counter asks if we want to go for a ride and have a few drinks so we say ok and go to his car. It was like the nicest ever, a honda accord with real leather interior. I luv guys with style. So we go get some beer and decide that the best place to drink is at this empty construction lot. Mr Tats decides to have this funny looking cigarette that smells a bit funny so I tell him it's probably stale but he says to go ahead and have some, so I do.
Next thing I know I'm completely gone cuz that one beer sure was strong and I have my mouth around the stick shift of the car, cuz it's such the thing to do and Angie did it a second ago and all. So we're switching off on licking this stick and all the sudden my mouth fills up with this strange stuff that I swallow really quick cuz Angie says it's just a shot and I luv my alcohol.
So Tats is kissing Angie and looking for something on the seat between her legs and he must have dropped something down the front of her pants because he stayed down there a long time. He tried to kiss me and I was like no way because I like don't do that with guys I just met but I let him stick his fingers in my mouth cuz that seemed wierd but ok.
We drove to this bar and just Angie and I got out and went in for some more drinks. It was mardi gras night, you know that night that's about virtue and stuff in Alabama or one of those bible belt states and they are giving out these beads if girls will do nice things for the boys.
So out of nowhere Angie lifts up her shirt and shows the boys her tatas. She gets this supercool bead necklace from this guy who then buys us both 3 shots. I want one of those fly necklaces too so I reach down Angie's shirt and start to suck on her nipple, cuz that's no big deal cuz we're like friends, right? It seems only natural, to go for more beads by smacking her bare booty under her skirt while she sticks her tongue down my throat.
My special spot in my panties started to get a little jumpy so I decided I better sit down and be calm like my mommy always told me to do because if I didn't it might fall off. Angie puked all over my new shoes so it was time to go hop a cab and get back to the dorm.
I got sick on the way home so both of us were quite a mess by the time we got home. Our room was such a mess! Clothes were totally covering the beds so we thought it would make more sense to put the stuff on one bed and climb into the other one together. We were covered in alcohol and some other yucky stuff and we were so tired that it was the best idea to just take off our clothes and hop into bed.
It was such warm, snuggly fun sharing a bed with Angie. We're way closer than Melissa and I ever were. It's so great to be comfortable enough with someone that you can spank their butt and sleep naked with them and still be friends in the morning! I can't wait for the rest of the semester, it'll be better than the time I lost my bra at the Pi Kappa Alpha house!