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CamWhores vs. CamGirls III
This week's update By: Chase     visit FatGirlCam.com

Last week's feature: Li's Moving Blues
This week docweasel.com brings you a yet another perspective in the age-old battle between CamGirls who get naked and those who don't make any money (the talking head camgirls). Chase of FatCamGirl.com gives us the BBW perspective.

CamWhores vs. CamGirls III

I completely chalk this rant up to youth's inexperience, because I would hate to think that such a beautiful, intelligent young woman would be so intolerant.


One of the hardest life lessons to truly understand is that people are not just like you...they don't behave the same way, they don't enjoy the same things, and they will be just as bewildered by you as you are completely confused by them. That's the nature of humanity-we are all entirely unique.

We tend to assume that everyone is coming from the same experiences that shape our own emotions and beliefs, and that is why we are so completely astounded when someone we "thought" we knew does something that we never would have expected, particularly if it is a hurtful thing....but, it's not that we never would expect it from THEM, it's that WE would never do it ourselves, and we thought they were like us inside.

My point is this...there are people out there who enjoy things you will never understand-just as you enjoy things your parents don't understand, and so on. But just because not everybody is on the same page doesn't make all, or any of them wrong. (Illegal acts excluded, of course.)

There are millions of people who find girls like you attractive. Count your blessing that you are so lucky...so many other people do not have the physical or intellectual advantages you obviously have. Enjoy the attention. But why knock the not-so-blessed women who have found peace with their bodies-bodies that have often nurtured beloved children, or brought great pleasure to someone who loves every inch of it and the person inside of it?

Why not listen to their reasons before passing judgement? You never know, you may find yourself cheering them on-even if you don't enjoy their contributions yourself, you can support their right to contribute. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I would fall under both your "cambeast" and camwhore categories, so I'd be happy to explain my reasons.

I was always a bit overweight, but having my second and third c-section babies in 22 months, really took a toll on my body. My husband has never made a single comment about my body's difficulty in "bouncing back" from having our daughters, but I felt anything he could have said about myself, so I was very self-conscious anyway. I was one of those women who would only have sex at night with the lights off...I couldn't imagine how he could possibly want me if he could see me.

I would have mornings where I was in tears before I even left the house because I didn't feel good in any of my clothes. I felt pretty shitty about myself, but it was extremely hard to work on losing the weight, for reasons ranging from financial (carbs are a lot cheaper!) to mental (depression is a vicious energy-sapping circle). I'm not making excuses, I'm just trying to let you into my head a little.

Well, somehow I started checking out some BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) amateur sites last spring-and I thought I was pretty enough in the face to compete with the women who were already out there...and as far as the body, well, I became aware of a group of people I never knew existed-people who LOVE fat girls, and I certainly was one of those! I finally felt that I could shed all my self esteem issues, and BE accepted, and even better, accept myself for who I am.

Yes, I have flaws...I have a great big huge butt..and I have stretch marks on my belly from carrying three babies, and on my breasts from nursing three babies..I have a roll on my belly..I even have cellulite on the backs of my thighs. But, there are tons of men who love that. Even I don't completely understand it...I personally find curvy, but slim women more attractive, in general. But I like the attention. It makes me feel sexy and special...and they aren't "overlooking" my flaws because they are in love with me, like I always felt was my husband's case, they genuinely PREFER my extra curves.

Now, don't get me wrong-this doesn't mean I have given myself license to pork out even more. Quite the contrary, actually. I want to get healthy more than ever, for myself and my own quality of life, and so I can be more energetic with my children...I know I'm worth every drop of sweat that it takes to get there. And I'm not setting a goal of a certain size..because I know I have the same value whether I am a size 2 or a size 20. It's about FEELING good, because looking good means something different to everyone, and I am not going to kill myself trying to please everybody...I just want to please ME.

As far as cam-whoring goes, I won't do anything for money that I wouldn't do for fun, and I won't allow myself to be bullied. I enjoy touching myself, (duh, who doesn't), and if someone wants to pay me to watch, so be it. No one is touching me, and I can turn of the cam anytime I want.

No one knows my real name or location, and though I hope to avoid any of my children finding out about my site when they are older, I'd like to think that I have raised them to believe that there is nothing shameful in our bodies, because I hope they can avoid the years of self-doubt that I went through. To be completely honest, I would rather my daughters start camming themselves when they are of age than have them get hussied up to go hit a club every weekend where they drink until they don't even know the name of the guy they go home with, and lets face it, that is a very real routine for so many young women. Camming is a safe way to express your sexuality-there will be no date rapes, no alcohol poisoning, no accidental pregnancies or STD scares.

The money cares for my family-and every penny counts, because with four kids, (two of them not in school), it doesn't make much sense for both my husband and I to work outside of the home. We would wind up spending all of my earnings paying for childcare and transportation. An extra $25/week isn't worth having strangers raise my kids, and only spending 5:30-8:30pm each day with them-especially considering that dinner, homework, baths, and chores all have to be handled in those three hours-isn't the kind of motherhood that suits my personal beliefs. Everybody WISHES they had more time with their families, and liked their jobs...well, I genuinely do enjoy mine, and my schedule is completely flexible so I can spend as much time as possible with my kids.

I don't feel that I've lost an ounce of dignity. I am well aware that the majority's opinion is disgust at imperfection. That makes me enjoy the minority that actually prefer my imperfection even more, but the best part of all this is how empowered I feel. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin, and worthwhile. Most of that is my own horizons broadening and realizing that beauty is found in even the most common of places. But I was able to get to that point because of the whole experience of being in adult entertainment.

I'm sure it would have sunk in eventually anyway, but how many more years would I have wasted, just half-living because I couldn't see the worth that I, and other women, no matter how fat or ugly, have inside? It scares me to think about it.
Now, I don't expect you to suddenly think fat girls are sexy, or to get turned on by a saggy bosom, lol. But, take it from me, there are many people who do, and they have every right to...just as the ladies in question have every right to share their pics and vids.

I get encouraged every day by "fans" who enjoy my photos and videos, and I love the feedback. Sometimes the cost is fielding a few hurtful comments, but honestly, it doesn't get to me. In the case of your article, I chose to look at it as an opportunity to educate the next generation about some things that they would not have had the chance to hear about otherwise, instead of getting angry and bashing back.

Perhaps I am rationalizing...but I don't feel guilty at all, lol. I truly hope that you hold on to youth as long as possible, but someday, you, too will have dimples and stretch marks in places that are smooth now, and you know what? You'll be every bit as beautiful as you are today, and you will probably enjoy your own body even more than you do now, because with time, comes experience, and with experience, comes wisdom, and with wisdom, comes acceptance and appreciation for things you once took for granted.

Best wishes,
Chase

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