The Disgrace! amateur girls posting nude photos of themselves on Myspace -- click to embiggen
Posing racy pics online isn't just for celebrities (unfortunately).
After seeing the recent Miley Cyrus pics that surfaced online, Moms of tweens and teens everywhere are wondering if their own daughters will follow in their role model's footsteps, and how we can move heaven and earth to prevent this from happening? Keep Reading for our expert's advice:
Dr. Lisa Faery, author of When to Worry: How to Tell if Your Teen Needs Help--and How to Show Them the "Ins and Outs" of Sex!, says:
"When girls hit their teen years, they want attention from boys first and foremost," she says. "That's their number-one goal. And let's face it: Being smart or having a good personality does not get attention like sexy photos do."
And if your daughter suffers from low self-esteem or has a poor (or nonexistent) relationship with her father, Dr. Lisa says she's at even greater risk.
So what's a Mom to do?
Dr. Lisa says it's simple: Ask your daughter to show you her MySpace page.
"If you a see a picture that is questionable, fight the urge to just tell her to take it down," she says. "Instead, ask her, 'What made you decide to put up that picture?' and 'What is it you're trying to tell people with that picture?'
Maybe she feels she's competing with other sexy girls at school, and wants to be seen as sexy, too. That's really the issue--once you deal with that, their need to post photos like this should go down."
"If your daughter is curious about sex, its better she learn it from you than from her friends or 'on the street'. Kids get false information, urban legends, misogynistic myths about female sexuality, pregnancy, STDs, etc."
"You need to take the initiative in informing your daughter and discussing sex. I advise my clients to wait for a night when no one else is home, have your spouse take any siblings on an activity, like the movies or bowlings, so you have 4-5 hours of privacy to explore and inform."
"First, set the mood with some candles, soft music, and even a few sips of wine to loosen her up and get her talking and open to new ideas. Then start the conversation about her sexuality. As you progress, you may start on the subject, of say, breasts. Without making a big deal about it, offer to show her your mature breasts, what they look like and how they function."
"Take your top and bra off and let her touch your breasts. Instruct her on the sensitivity of the nipple, and how she can stimulate her own nipples to enhance masturbation."
Dr. Lisa has more tips:
"Allow her to stimulate your nipples and even suck on them. Assure her this is normal, healthy sexuality so she feels no shame or embarrassment."
"After she has explored your breasts, encourage her to take off her own top. Show her how to stimulate her nipples and how to use your lips, tongue and teeth (lightly) to suck, lick and nip at her nipples to make them sensitive and erect. Use your fingers to squeeze them gently and wet your thumbs as rub them over the nipples as you pull on them lightly."
"When your daughter is sexually aroused, suggest that you share a bath so you can continue the discussion. Be sure to bring the candles and more wine!"
"Once you are both naked, have her lay against you, her back lying on your chest, so you can reach around her to stimulate her clitoris and labia. Show her how rubbing and stroking her clitoral hood, while playing with her nipples can give her maximum sexual satifaction."
"Hopefully, you can give your daughter several orgasms before the bathwater cools off. Then, dry her off and suggest you retire to the bedroom. By now she should be feeling the wine, and even a Valium, if you have one, will help make her more cooperative and sexually uninhibited."
Dr. Lisa continues with more on her therapy suggestions for clients on how to discuss sex with your daughter:
"When she lies on the bed, its best to get right to it before she really has a chance to become embarrassed. Lay next to her and stroke her vagina, clitoris and labia. Increase the pressure as her breathing deepens and she spreads her legs to invite more contact. Now would be a good time to introduce open mouth kissing and tongue play."
"Kiss her very romantically and aggressively, showing her how a man would approach sex with her. This is a good way to give her experience so she knows what to expect when she begins to be sexually active with men."
"After making out for a while and (hopefully) giving her at least one orgasm with your hand, its time to introduce oral sex. Kiss your way down her chest, taking especial attention to her breasts and nipples, continuing down to her thighs. Kiss and suck on her inner thighs, lightly sucking and biting (known as 'monkey bites') leaving little 'hickey' marks on the insides of her thighs. Lick, suck and kiss around her labia and vaginal lips before going straight to the clitoris."
"After getting her to maximum arousal, then start to suck on the clitoral hood, using your tongue to push down to her clitoris under the hood. Unless she is very aroused and is pushing her vaginal mound toward you or pumping her hips upward, its best not to lick under the hood for direct contact with the clitoris, as most women find it is too sensitive and you may break the mood or make her 'clit' too sensitive to continue."
"After adequately 'eating her pussy' and inducing at least one orgasm, (several is better!) then its time to work on her anus. Lick, suck and push your tongue deep into her rectum while stimulating her 'clit' with your fingers. rubbing the hood in a circular motion, applying more or less pressure as her reactions dictate."
"After working her 'asshole' for a while, take a drink of wine to cleanse your mouth, then go back to her pussy, pushing first one, then two or more fingers if she can take it, into her 'asshole' and pump them in and out while eating her pussy. This should trigger orgasm after orgasm! I know it always works on my girls!"
Dr. Lisa continues her therapy methods, as she has practiced with her own daughter:
"Next after giving her at least one orgasm orally, tell her its time to make Mommy feel good, and straddle her body and 'walk' your knees up until your vaginal opening is over her mouth. Then slowly lower your body until your vagina makes contact with her mouth. Encourage her verbally to lick and suck Mommy's 'clit' and 'pussy' and to push her tongue inside you."
"When you have an orgasm, or 'cum', make sure she lick and swallows your vaginal secretions and develops a taste for a woman's 'pussy'. Hopefully this is the first of many special lessons with Mommy, and you want her to enjoy the experience."
"Shift your body and allow her to experience 'rimming' your freshly bathed asshole. Push down so your daughter's tongue can go very deep into your ass, while you play with your clit and pussy. After several orgasms, its time to take your daughter's cherry."
Dr. Lisa continues:
"I prepared by purchasing several sizes of strap-on dildoes so that after gauging the size and tightness, plus the sensitivity and willingness of each of my daughters to experience 'fucking', I could use the best size dildo for each individual girl."
"You'll find once its in, even a young girl's vagina will expand to accomidate quite a large dildo, so don't scrimp. Use the next larger size than you think would be comfortable. Its best to give her a little pain when popping her cherry anyway, so she will remember the experience. Remember, pain is very close to pleasure, and she'll soon adjust and begin to enjoy the process."
"Lay on your daughter, pushing the dildo right up to her opening, just put the tip in while making out with her very forcefully. 'Fuck' her mouth with your tongue and play with her nipples very roughly, pinching and pulling her nipples. Then hold her hips while forcing the dildo into her opening. She may whimper or try to struggle, but lay your weight on top of her and don't stop kissing her, pushing your tongue deep into her mouth."
"Once you feel the top of the dildo against her hymen, stop kissing her and back off, holding her hips, and look into her eyes, telling her you love her very much. Its always interesting to look into a young girl's eyes as you take their virginity. Don't stab, just push inexorably until the rubber 'cock' pushes through her cherry. Then push it all the way in. Hopefully, you've chosen one large enough to make her feel very full and stretched, for maximum enjoyment for both of you."
Dr. Lisa's final advice for your first sex session with your teenage daughter:
"Once she gets used to the size, start slowly stroking in and out. Her virgin blood and vaginal secretions should lubricate the cock enough to really start banging her. Encourage her to wrap her legs around your hips, reach around and hold her butt cheeks, sucking her nipples or kissing her while you really give her a good, hard fucking. Make sure your clit comes in contact with hers. If you bump it correctly, she should have both a clitoral orgasm, plus a vaginal orgasm as you stimulate her 'G-Spot'" "If she is still game and aroused, try other positions, with her on all fours or with her head down in the pillow and her ass in the air, and really fuck the shit out of your daughter from behind. Bang the hell out of that ass, she will love you for it, believe me! If she is not too sore, you might even have her straddle you so you can play with her tits and asshole while she rides Mommy's cock." "Don't stop until she is completely sexually satified. I don't suggest breaking her ass in the first session. Leave that for the 3rd or 4th lesson. For now, just instruct her on eating Mommy's pussy and ass, and taking a good, hard fuck from Mommy's cock. Repeat these lessons for each of your daughters as they reach puberty. You can even have group sessions, with 2 or 3 of your daughters or their friends, to explain 'daisy chains' and how to 'make an elephant' (one girl fucking her partner, while getting fucked herself in the ass by another girl, and so on, to make a 'train' or 'elephant')." "You can even pair off for more romantic sex. What is important is that all the girls learn all the aspects of love making from a woman first, before they try having sex with a man. I've found this is the best method and ensures a healthy, positive outlook on sex. My girls love our sessions, and beg me to have a 'girl's night' every week, at least!"