docweasel.com :: still an outlaw in their eyes

docweasel.com :: Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Scene 2 : 'Bring Out Your Dead!'

[thud]; [clang]
CART MASTER:: Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [cough cough...]; [clang]; [...cough cough]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead! Ninepence.; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out your dead!; [clang]; Bring out...; [rewr!]; ...your dead!; [rewr!]; [clang]; Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER:: Here's one.
CART MASTER:: Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:: What?
CUSTOMER:: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:: 'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:: I'm not!
CART MASTER:: He isn't?
CUSTOMER:: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:: I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:: Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:: I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:: Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:: I can't.
CUSTOMER:: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:: No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:: Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]: I feel happy. I feel happy.; [whop]
CUSTOMER:: Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:: Right. All right.; [howl]; [clop clop clop]; Who's that, then?
CART MASTER:: I dunno. Must be a king.
CUSTOMER:: Why?
CART MASTER:: He hasn't got shit all over him.