docweasel.com :: still an outlaw in their eyes

docweasel.com :: Monty Python's Life of Brian
Scene 20 : Pilate and Biggus Dickus

[whump]
BRIAN:: Aah.
PILATE:: Well, Bwian, you've given us a good wun for our money.
BRIAN:: A what?; [slap]; Aaagh.
PILATE:: This time, I guawantee you will not escape. Guard, do we have any cwucifixions today?
GUARD #1:: A hundred and thirty-nine, sir. Special celebration. Passover, sir.
PILATE:: Wight. Now we have a hundwed and forty. Nice wound number, eh, Biggus?
BIGGUS DICKUS:: Hm hm hm hm hm.
CENTURION:: Hail Caesar!
PILATE:: Hail.
CENTURION:: The crowd outside is getting a bit restless, sir. Permission to disperse them, please.
PILATE:: Disperse them? But I haven't addwessed them yet.
CENTURION:: Ah, no. I know sir, but--
PILATE:: My addwess is one of the high points of the Passover. My fwiend, Biggus Dickus, has come all the way fwom Wome just to hear it.
CENTURION:: Hail Caesar.
BIGGUS:: Hail Thaethar!
CENTURION:: You're not-- ah, you're not, uh, thinking o-- of giving it a miss this year, then, sir?
PILATE:: Give it a miss?
CENTURION:: Well, it's just that they're in a rather funny mood today, sir.
PILATE:: Weally, Centuwion? I'm surpwised to hear a man like you wattled by a wabble of wowdy webels.
CENTURION:: A... bit thundery, sir.
PILATE:: Take him away.
BRIAN:: I'm a Roman! I-- I can prove it, honestly!
PILATE:: And cwucify him well! Biggus.
CENTURION:: Ah, I-- I really wouldn't, sir.
PILATE:: Out of the way, Centuwion.
BIGGUS:: Let me come with you, Pontiuth. I may be of thome athithtanth if there ith a thudden crithith.