docweasel.com :: still an outlaw in their eyes

docweasel.com :: Monty Python's Life of Brian
Scene 23 : Pilate's addwess

[trumpets]
CROWD:: [cheering]
PILATE:: People of Jewusalem!
CROWD:: [chuckling]
PILATE:: Wome is your fwiend.
CROWD:: [laughing]
PILATE:: To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons.
CROWD:: [laughing]
GUARD #3:: [chuckling]
PILATE:: Whom would you have me welease?
BOB HOSKINS:: Welease Woger!
CROWD:: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
PILATE:: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
CROWD:: [cheering]
CENTURION:: Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir.
PILATE:: What?
CENTURION:: Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.
PILATE:: Ah. We have no 'Woger'!
CROWD:: Ohhhhh!
BOB:: Well, what about Wodewick, then?
CROWD:: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!
PILATE:: Centuwion, why do they titter so?
CENTURION:: Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.
PILATE:: Are they... wagging me?
CENTURION:: Oh, no, sir!
GUARD #3:: [chuckling]
PILATE:: Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick!
CROWD:: [laughing]
CENTURION:: Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either.
PILATE:: No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'?
CENTURION:: Sorry, sir.
PILATE:: Who is this 'Wod'--
GUARD #1:: [chuckle]
PILATE:: Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer?
BOB:: He's a wobber!
CROWD:: [laughing]
MAN:: And a wapist!
CROWD:: [laughing]
WOMAN:: And a pickpocket!
CROWD:: Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh!...
PILATE:: He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
CENTURION:: We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm.
PILATE:: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?
CENTURION:: Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir.
PILATE:: Samson?
CENTURION:: Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh, Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty-seven seers from--
BIGGUS:: Let me thpeak to them, Pontiuth!
CENTURION:: Oh, no. Oh.
PILATE:: Ah. Good idea, Biggus.
BIGGUS:: Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler, Thilus...
CROWD:: [laughing]
BIGGUS:: ...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth thcribth from Thaetharea, and...