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docweasel.com :: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Scene 05 : The Adventures of Martin Luther |
- [music]
- NARRATOR #1:
- The Adventures of Martin Luther,...
- ...an exciting and controversial examination...
- ...of the Protestant reformer whose re-assesment of the role of the individual in Christian belief shook the foundations of a post-feudal Germany in the grip of the sixteenth century.
- It was a day much like any other in the quiet little town of Wittenberg.
- Mamie Meyer was preparing fat for the evening meal when the full force of the Reformation struck.
- HYMIE MEYER:
- Mamie! Martin Luther's out!
- MAMIE MEYER:
- Ohh! Martin Luther! Mmh.
- HYMIE:
- Huhh.
- MAMIE:
- Did you get the suet, Hymie?
- HYMIE:
- Oy vay! The suet I clean forgot.
- Look out; here he comes!
- MAMIE:
- Girls! Girls!
- HYMIE:
- Mmhm...
- MAMIE:
- Your father forgot the suet!
- AUDREY MEYER:
- Ooohhhh.
- MYRTLE MEYER:
- Ohh.
- HYMIE:
- Hello, Martin.
- MARTIN LUTHER:
- H-- How-- Where's the john?
- HYMIE:
- Uh, we don't have one.
- AUDREY and MYRTLE:
- [giggling]
- MARTIN:
- Hhh! Do you need any cleaning inside?
- HYMIE:
- Oh, no. Today it's all going fine.
- MARTIN:
- Ahhh. Oh, well, uh, how's about showing me the cutlery?
- HYMIE:
- Martin, I got a woman and children in there.
- MARTIN:
- So! There's no problem. I just look at a few spoons, uh--
- HYMIE:
- Well, I got two girls in there, Martin. You know what I mean.
- MARTIN:
- Honest! I don't look at your girls. I-- I don't think about them. There!
- [pat]
- I put them out of my mind.
- Their arms, their necks, their little legs and bosoms, I wipe from my mind!
- [pat]
- HYMIE:
- You just want to see the spoons?
- MARTIN:
- My life! That's what I want to see!
- HYMIE:
- I know I'm going to regret this.
- AUDREY:
- Mhhm.
- MAMIE:
- Shh!
- HYMIE:
- Mamie! Guess who's come to see us?
- MAMIE:
- Hymie! Are you out of your mind, already?! You know how old your daughters are!
- HYMIE:
- He-- He only wants to see the spoons!
- MAMIE:
- Well-- Well, what do you have to bring him into my house for?
- HYMIE:
- Mamie, he doesn't think about girls any more.
- MARTIN:
- Uh, Mrs. Meyer, as far as girls is concerned, I shot my wad.
- MAMIE:
- You shot your wad?
- MARTIN:
- Definitely!
- MAMIE:
- Which spoons do you want to view?
- MARTIN:
- Oh, I guess the soup spoons.
- MAMIE:
- Now they're good spoons!
- MARTIN:
- You got 'em arranged?
- MAMIE:
- No, but I could arrange them for you.
- MARTIN:
- Oh, don't put yourself to no bother, Mrs. Meyer.
- MAMIE:
- It's no bother. I want for you to see these spoons like I would want to see them myself.
- MARTIN:
- Aww, you're too kind, Mrs. Meyer.
- You could get your, eh, daughters to show me them.
- [bang]
- MAMIE:
- Hymie! Get him out of here!
- HYMIE:
- Mamie! Mamie! He only said for Audrey and Myrtle to show him the
spoons.
- MAMIE:
- Like you think I'm running some kind of bordello here?!
- MARTIN:
- Mrs. Meyer, how can you say such a thing?
- MAMIE:
- Listen, Martin Luther! I know what you want to do with my girls.
- MARTIN:
- Show me the spoons, ehh?
- MAMIE:
- You want for them to pull up their skirts...
- AUDREY and MYRTLE:
- [giggling]
- MAMIE:
- ...and then lean over a chair with their legs apart.
- HYMIE:
- Mamie, don't get excited.
- MAMIE:
- I'm getting excited?! It's him that's getting excited!
- MARTIN:
- My mind is on the spoons!
- MAMIE:
- But you can't stop thinking of those little girls over the chairs!
- HYMIE:
- Oh, oh, I got to go to the bathroom.
- MAMIE:
- Hymie, I'm a married woman!
- HYMIE:
- So! Just show him the spoons!
- MAMIE:
- And you don't want to put nothing up me?
- MARTIN:
- Mrs. Meyer, you read my mind.
- [chorus singing 'Halleluja']
- NARRATOR:
- Yes, another convert for the Protestants. But despite Luther's efforts to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children multiplied everywhere.
