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You Know You’re a Metrosexshul When…

by dopesoap May 18 2005

New Rule: when you are a preening, smug, self-referential, talentless, unfunny hack whose one remaining schtick is to bash America wherever possible and “Bush is dumb” jokes, who plays the perpetual victim for being fired from one show because

A. the show sucked

and

2. you’re guests were vapid, out of their depth, uninformed and stridently obscene, leftist and inappropriate re: the content you debated

and

III. you offended what remained of your audience, yet you frame it as a “free speech” issue, ooh, you’re a ginormous asshole.

“New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge asshole.”

–Bill Maher

And being the posing, fastidious metrosex-shul Maher is, I’d like to hear from his personal assistant exactly what Bill’s coffee order consists of- I seriously doubt he takes it like I like my women; hot and black. I’d wager his coffee order is as long and lame as his “joke” order and when its wrong he throws it in his assitant’s face and tells her to get it right next time or she’ll be back on duty trimming Maher’s nose hair.

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