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Series 1, Episode 2: French Lecture
The cast:
FIRST FRENCHMAN John Cleese
SECOND FRENCHMAN Michael Palin
FIRST PEPPERPOT Graham Chapman
SECOND PEPPERPOT Terry Jones
THIRD PEPPERPOT Michael Plain
FOURTH PEPPERPOT John Cleese
The sketch:
(Two Frenchmen stand in front of a diagram of a sheep adapted for flying. They speak rapidly in French, much of
it pseudo.)
First Frenchman: (JOHN) Bonsoir – ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d’un mouton anglo-français … maintenant … baa-aa, baa-aa… nous avons, dans la tête, le cabinc. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe.
Second Frenchman: Vive Brian, wherever you are.
First Frenchman: D’accord, d’accord. Maintenant, je vous présente mon collègue, le pour célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique.
(Transfers his moustache to Second Frenchman)
Second Frenchman Maintenant, le mouton … le landing … les wheels, bon.
(Opens diagram to show wheels on sheep’s legs.)
First Frenchman: Bon, les wheels, ici.
Second Frenchman C’est formidable, n’est ce pas … (unintelligibly indicates motor at rear of sheep)
First Frenchman: Les voyageurs … les bagages … ils sont … ici!
(Triumphantly opens the rest of the diagram to reveal the whole brilliant arrangement. They run round flapping
their arms and baa-ing. Cut to pepperpots in supermarket with off-screen interviewer.)
First Pepperpot: Oh yes, we get a lot of French people round here.
Second Pepperpot: Ooh Yes.
Third Pepperpot: All over yes.
Interviewer: And how do you get on with these French people?
First Pepperpot: Oh very well.
Fourth Pepperpot: So do I.
Third Pepperpot: Me too.
First Pepperpot: Oh yes 1 like them. I mean, they think well don’t they? I
mean, be fair- Pascal.
Second Pepperpot: Blaise Pascal.
Third Pepperpot: Jean-Paul Sartre.
First Pepperpot: Yes, Voltaire.
Second Pepperpot: Ooh! – Rene Descartes.
(Rene Descartes is sitting thinking. Bubbles come from his head with ‘thinks ‘. Suddenly he looks happy.
In a thought bubble appears ‘I THINK THEREFORE I AM ‘. A large hand comes into picture with a pin and
pricks the thought bubble. It deflates and disappears. After a second, Reni disappears too.)