Why Ebert quit watching Allen is completely different to why I did. Allen is like Larry David in that his NY-centric worldview assumes conservatives are wrong about everything and leftists are right, even when they are wrong. I don’t need that kind of propaganda yelled at me constantly when I’m trying to be entertained.
People I respect and enjoy: Harry Nilsson
UPDATE Some of the videos are dead, unfortunately. A big drawback to YouTube is that vids go dead. Eventually that will kill it, just not soon enough for me.
Mindless, offensively stupid movies dragged to Part I: Charlie Bartlett
Written Feb, released only now.
Click for deeper and higher resolution insights into Ricci’s technique.
We very very very rarely go to a movie I’d like to see. Most of the time, we go to movies I not only do not particularly want to see, but that offend my sense of decency and decorum until I am as numb and sickened as Ignatius J. Reilly at a Paris Hilton bar opening.
Mindless, offensively stupid movies dragged to Part 2: Bank Job
Some movies include stupid characters. The Bank Job includes a universe where everyone is stupid, and their stupidity is calculated and necessary to keep the plot going. If any one group involved: the robbers, the criminals who are after them, the British Secret Service, the cops, the by-standers, everyone. weren’t so stupid the caper and the movie would be finished. Its lazy writing and very annoying. You can suspend disbelief, you don’t have to suffer lame ass scripting though.
When are there Arwen? Lord of the Rings, the long-form, examined
Paul Verhoeven remaking "Life of Brian" plus full bush Jewesses
MANDY: Well, Brian,… your father isn’t Mr. Cohen.
BRIAN:I never thought he was.
MANDY:Now, none of your cheek! He was a Roman, Brian. He was a
centurion in the Roman army.
BRIAN:You mean… you were raped?
MANDY:Well, at first, yes.
John Cusack removes his nose from Tim Robbins’ ass long enough to school us all on politics and the war
|Since no one wants to see photos of John Cusack, here are photos of Cusack’s “Say Anything” co-star, Ione Skye nude — click to embiggen|
You know, I like Cusack’s movies. I also like the way my mechanic fixes my car and the way my plumber fixes my sink.
But I pay them for that, not to their lame-brained theories on politics. Cusack has a platform because he’s a movie star, and he mistakes that platform and the interest people have for him as an actor for interest in anything he has to say about politics.
He also mistakes the attention given a celebrity with people giving a shit about his opinion. Why actors believe they are uniquely qualified, out of all the professions, to give us the benefit of their wisdom, is probably due to the fact that people are kissing their ass from the time they get up ’til the time they are going to bed, and they start believing their own press releases.
Some of John’s “brilliance”:
Our strategy should be not only to confront empire, but to lay siege to it. To deprive it of oxygen. To shame it. To mock it. With our art, our music, our literature, our stubbornness, our joy, our brilliance, our sheer relentlessness– and our ability to tell our own stories. Stories that are different from the ones we’re being brainwashed to believe. The corporate revolution will collapse if we refuse to buy what they’re selling– their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability. Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them. Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.
How about the corporations who make movies, huh John? The ones who have enriched you? How about if we refuse to buy what they are selling, “their ideas, their version of history” especially? How’s about them apples John? Being John Malkovich was still a great movie though.
I can’t imagine any group less qualified and intelligent about political matters, and with less credibility with which to lecture the rest of us poor dumb bastards, unless its rock musicians.
Angelina Jolie opens her piehole, says something intelligent, but offends liberal Hollywood and is shouted down
Usually, Hollywood stars are better not seen or heard at all outside of their movies. I don’t care to hear my plumber tell me how Dubya Chimpy BusHitlerHalliburton fucked up the war, and I don’t care to hear some air-headed Hollywood starlet expound on the economy.
So, to be consistent, whether they support the war or deplore it in the most ignorant and irrational form.
Liveleak intimidated into removing Fitna video: download the entire video here: Show solidarity by hosting it on your server or a freehost
Unremarkably , some adherents to the Religion of Peace are taking exception and protesting vehemently in their customary civilized and rational fashion.
They are threatened to kill Liveleak employees, so they caved and removed it:
Well, after reading for months how homophobic, 19th century redneck attitudes of the folks in red-state America were limiting Brokeback’s sales in the heartland, I guess Hollywooders showed themselves to be hypocrites by chickening out on giving the any of the gay shepherds or their movie the Oscar (except Ang Lee for director, which might amount to a ‘career accomplishments’ award).
Sweeney Todd is no Nightmare
I knew there would be music in Tim Burton‘s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, I just guess I didn’t know there would be that much music, that the music would be rather forgettable and sung by non-singers to boot.
Johnny Depp is great in any role he does (well, other than his Southern accent in The Astronaut’s Wife) but he isn’t much of a singer, and it really impinges upon his acting. You can’t really act when you’re singing, because the phrasing and timing serve the music, not the plot points behind the lyrics.
Mel Gibson is OK with me
Yeah yeah, we’re all supposed to hate on Mel Gibson. Personally, I don’t think its that big a deal, in fact, namecalling and tirades when appropriate are perfectly acceptable. If one of my gay friends is being a douche, I say “hey you little faggot, knock that shit off”, just like Isaiah Washington, and I can’t get fired for it either.
I didn’t make it to the movies to see Grindhouse. The one night I probably could have gone, my gf wasn’t in the mood to sit through a three-hour schlock-fest.
The fact is, she never is in that mood. And the only time I go to the movies is with my gf. I’m not going to go to a movie alone. I did rook her into going to 300 and she was pretty unhappy.
Anyway, I had to wait until Grindhouse came out on DVD so I could buy the movie at BestBuy.
"Death of a President" is lefty snuff pr0n
Boohoo. Supposedly the assholes who made a film about Bush being assassinated, then the US falling into a Republican controlled fascist dictatorship claim their lives have been threatened.
Every leftard who receives a nasty email starts crying about having their lives threatened. The Ditsy Chicks milked an entire documentary whinging about how they had received mean mail and bloggers and radio heads had said unkind things about them just because they had claimed America sucks while overseas.
Poor fucking babies:
Movie Review: August Rush sucks like Anna Nicole in a room full of billionaires
I was roped into going to see August Rush against my will. It was either that, or Enchanted, and I figured, hey, lesser of two evils, right?
Synopsis didn’t sound that horrid, although I had not figured in the Freddie Highmore factor, nor the Robin Williams factor, both of which push the irritation quotient of any movie into the stratosphere. I should have November Rushed out of the theater, but I was trapped due to the gf factor.
As a professional musician, its possible I could have related to and agreed with the subject matter and some of opinions and views expressed about music in this movie. In theory, anyway.
In practice though, this movie is annoying, cloyingly sentimental, damned with cute ass kid actor mugging for the camera and doing precious little acting, Robin Williams, plot holes you could drive a truck through (and that’s in about 20 minutes worth of actual story, which is all this turd has) and mostly, the worst editing I have ever seen in a movie, and I’ve seen a shit-load of movies and am an aficionado of film cutting and camera direction.
Moore’s Sicko has a good chance of being DOA
2003 Big Fat Dumbass Award Winner
Anyone else thing Michael “Mockumentary” Moore’s new film Sicko might face a backlash? Republicans and non-moonbats are never going to see it anyway, and the left might be aware of the fact that firing up the choir notwithstanding, if anything, F911 probably had a negative effect on Kerry’s chances in 2004.
update: fucking Perez fucking hilton– I send him a tip about this and he posts it and doesn’t credit me. Thanks dude. You are so gay, and not in the good way.
update update: whereas Agent Bedhead is a classy babe 😉
Mary Kate & Ashley are marionettes
New and used DVD mini-reviews
Sean Penn is a fucking idiot
Maybe you’ve seen Penn’s freakout on the Southpark guys over “Team America”, which I plan to see tomorrow btw. If you read this: Sean Penn Loses It you will get his major point, that having been to Iraq makes him an expert, and he will condescend to “show Parker and Stone” around the place, since he’s so familiar and knowledgable, and he’ll make them ashamed and sad.
Movie Review: Italian Job
I was given “The Italian Job” for my b’day. I am not a fan of car chase movies, I mean they haven’t made an original one since “The French Connection” and this movie had not only several long car chases, it has boat, helicopter and running chases too so I didn’t have high hopes. I like Donald Sutherland, Charlize Theron and Marky Mark is ok sometimes so I figured I’d give it a try.
DVD Movie Review: Schindler’s List
Just got Schindler’s List on DVD, it came out Monday. I am really disgusted how a great movie like this gets such a shitty presentation and package and idiot movies like LOTR get a 5 disk box set. It’s a 2 sided disk, the height of cheapness on the part of the studio.
(There is a very sxpensive plexi-glass display box version, but that’s bullshit.)
There is no commentary track, which this is one movie that could really deserve one, while inanitites like The Italian Job and Under the Tuscan Sun you listen to some self-important director ramble on about how he got some stupid ass effect or what a great actress Sandra Ho is. Spielberg could have added some real insight into the making of this very important movie.
Worst Movies of 2003
Worst Movies of 2003
Movies really sucked this year and damn few were worth either the hard-earned dollar a working man pays to see them, nor
the valuable time you could be better utilizing surfing the web, viewing fine quality webpages like this one. Some of these reviews may seem a bit negative, but the scorn heaped on these multi-million dollar abominations is well-garnered. Read on and find out why.
Killer Uma & Naked Chiaki
Killer Uma & naked Chiaki
Impressions of the 4th film by Quentin Tarantino, Kill Bill, followed by very lovely pix of Chiaki Kuriyama, with very little on (click here).
This week’s update by docweasel
Ever hit the DVD store and see all these movie titles you’ve heard of but have never seen, but wonder if you might like them for the collection? Here’s some thumbnail reviews, highly subjective, that can give you ideas for some movies you might like. Most of them list the major stars, the director, other movies by both, and comparisons to other movies you may have seen. These tend toward the more over-looked movies and classic and well-known movies that you’ve heard of but may not have seen. No LOTR or Matrix-type blockbusters. Compiled by an avid, but completely uneducated movie fan. A different take than your usual elitist movie critic. Roger Ebert, feel the pain.
Matrix Really Loaded
“At one point Neon puts his entire fist up inside his girlfriend Trinatron’s body and its so romantic and it actually saves her life!!”
This week docweasel.com’s top reporter on the Hollywood gossip beat, Jeremy Taters, gives his take on the new hit movie Matrix Reloaded.
Matrix: Reloaded by Jeremy Tater
The cast is tremendous. Tom Cruise as Willard. Tom Hanks as Kilgore. Denzel Washington as Chief. Tom Sizemore as Chef. Leonardo DiCaprio as Lance. Urban favorite Chris Rock is expected to improvise brilliantly as Clean. And grumpy superstar Harrison Ford agrees to cut his hair really really short to play Kurtz. Owen Wilson remains ready to take on the role of Dennis Hopper.
Apocalypse Now ReRedux
Remaking Apocalypse Now
Memo, Nov 14 2003
RE: Possible developments…
Spiderman in action in the new Spiderman Movie with amazing realistic special effects!
Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a CGI superhero can!
Ok, first let me say, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I’ve seen the trailer and read a lot of comic books, so I basically figure out what happens.
From what I can gather, there is this villian named Greer Goblin (no relation to Greer Garson, a great TV character actress from the ’70’s). He’s played by William “Willum” Defoe, a craggy faced actor with a rugged, outdoorsy type of look. I knew a kid who had a skin condition like that back when I was in junior high who had really bad acne and it even oozed -we called him ‘acid-face’, you know how cruel kids can be! But it was all in fun =)
“StarWars V! (fuck Lucas, its the fifth movie, I don’t care wtf he calls it): Attack of the Drones”
Space-age technology has eliminated the camel-toe! WARNING: Healthy hetero-males will feel some urge to ejaculate on Padme’s abs. This is perfectly normal, do not be alarmed.
Ok, first let me say, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I’ve seen a lot of short blurbs about it on TV and etc. so I basically can walk you thru it.