Disney gets ethnic characters just right, or they used to
Sorry, I belong to one of the minorities “insulted” in this video and I don’t see anything wrong with any of the caricatures. Every group should be fair game for satire. (more…)
Brie Larson’s woke Capt Marvel will be a bomb
Hypocrite Brie Larson is woke except when she’s not. Bitching about the ‘male gaze’ and posing in lingerie with her tits hanging out, wants it both ways. (more…)
Ready Player One
I was able to watch this in the comfort of my office the week it came out. I keep thinking someday the bubble is going to burst, but it keeps on trucking along.
Anyway, this review is mostly discussing the movie so if you haven’t seen it you might not get my references and there’s a ton of spoilers. Just sayin’
First off, let me say that RPO is good fun, great spectacle and some of the best use of CGI in a modern movie. There’s plenty of action and cool CGI models, scenarios, backgrounds etc. The main characters aren’t particularly inventive and one of the lamest reveals in the movie (maybe it copies the book faithfully, I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter) is that every main character is basically the same as their avatar. Wow, a kid playing a diminutive ninja is 11 years old. That’s supposed to be a surprise? A huge shock is supposed to be that a slightly effeminate big black mechadroid is a big black not particularly feminine woman. The 2 main characters differ from their avatars mainly by their hair color and eye size.
That’s always been Spielberg’s problem. The entire movie is so by the numbers you’ll swear you’ve seen this movie before. It hits all the buttons, evil big corporation trying to take control of society, attack on main character kills his family/friends instead of intended target (ala Terminator 2), the protagonist is a gritty, hard-scrabble life but somehow affords all the expensive tech necessary to spend most of his time playing an admittedly complex, but nonetheless, a glorified video game. The female is a fighting dynamo whose family was killed by the evil corporation. I kept experiencing deja vu as the plot progressed.
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Tomb Raider 2018
What a Lara Croft should look like.
The original incarnation of Lara Croft had a beautiful, athletic, intelligent Lara Croft (with a great rack) destroying a state-of-the-art killer robot with lightning reflexes and cold hard steely determination. In contrast, the new Lara Croft starts off getting her ass kicked by a skinny dyke in a friendly MMA match. She follows this up by running away from 3 puny chinese guys because one of them had a knife. She proceeds to screw up in almost every respect that Angelina Jolie’s Lara would never have allowed.
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Circle 2017 movie review
BUY IT on Amazon
Circle (2017) The main problem I see with this movie is that it doesn’t hit the evilness and fascist tendencies of “progressives” who rule the tech world, and by extension, especially according to this movie, the rest of us. There’s a scene where two bright young wokers harangue her, but in a nice way, always smiling, like Mormons, saying disgusting things while acting like your best friend. They passive/agress bitch at her for not getting involved on social media enough.
That, and the company’s new product, a small processor/camera that can be stuck up anywhere and immediately send live video, facial recognition, etc etc. to a satellite. Not one person in this Apple-like mass meeting with Tom Hanks’ Steve Jobs brings up the fact that the government would love this.
Sleep-deprived reviewing Al Pacino’s Hangman (2017)
Hangman (2017) Arg. Another artificially contrived murder mystery where they killer has time, finances, intelligence enough insanity to stage multiple complicated murder scenes. As any real cop knows, it’s tough to set up a common garden variety murder without making a million mistakes, this guy does one ever 24 hours in succession and the cops can’t find him, even knowing he’s going to do one with a string of clues left behind. But even that isn’t as contrived as a few other plot points, like Pacino (what’s he doing, that fake Southern accent he thinks he can do?) as an old cop with a younger partner, plus a reporter tagging along as female relief.
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Mudbound, a feel-good, happytime movie for the whole family
DVD not yet available at writing, here’s the book so you can read about even more misery than the movie could cover.
Mudbound (2017) The lighthearted story of post-WWII brothers working a played out farm, barely keeping the family fed and about to go bust at any time and lose the mudbog fields and ramshackle house where they live with their bitterly racist old father, one with a miserable, loveless marriage with a wife who just lost their only potential son to a miscarriage and is now barren, the other a drunken, loutish shell-shocked veteran and their impoverished black sharecropper tenant farmers, who, unlikely as it may be, are even poorer and nearer destitute than their white landlords, with the father breaking his leg and unable to work and their own son back from the war, embittered and at odds with the racist white townspeople. We start with that idyllic scenario, but things go bad.
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World War I Noises/Stuck Record and Overlord 1975 British film
Long time Monty Python fan, loved Matching Tie and Hankerchief since the ’80s (when I became aware of it) then recently I was watching a British movie about WWI called Overlord (1975) and it contained a scene where 2 soldiers were sitting in a field between battles talking about home and the conversation steered toward a confusion between girlfriends, wives and dogs.
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Stupid dads, cowardly, callow, feckless men in our culture
I’m the single father of 2 young girls. They rely on my judgement, protection, patronage and ‘wisdom’, such as it is, for virtually everything in their lives. I’d like to think they trust and love me, not to say admire me, but feel they can count on me to handle everything from day to day meals to emergencies.
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Predators (2010) plot revised for the fuckheads at Wikipedia
I take my valuable time to fix the fucked up plot Wikipedia had for Predators and some fucking powerprick editor deletes it with a smarmy note telling me to read the rules or something. Eventually, Wales will have to sell WIki because no way contributions will be able to pay for bandwidth. In the meantime, here’s the plot to Predators the pricks wouldn’t post:
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People I respect and enjoy: Harry Nilsson
UPDATE Some of the videos are dead, unfortunately. A big drawback to YouTube is that vids go dead. Eventually that will kill it, just not soon enough for me.
The first LP I ever bought was Son of Schmilsson by Harry Nilsson which was an answer, I guess to his smash hit Nilsson Schmilsson, and a play on the name of course as a sequel.
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Let the Right One In original vs. Americanized bastard version review
Sad, bitter news today. I am behind the times, as I have just heard an American company is remaking one of the favorite movies, made from an even better book, the Swedish film Let the Right One In. BUY IT on Amazon
Of course, because of the mad success of the brainless, poorly made and worse acted Twilight series, every ignorant fuck who sees this new American version will think, “oh, another rip-off movie for Twilight, with young vampires”, but they will be, as they always are in everything they say, think and do, wrong.
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Toy Story 3 movie review
Saw Toy Story 3 just now.
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Quick thoughts: another caper movie. It’s good to see and hear all the old gang back together, but the plot is just not up to Pixar’s standards. TS2 was much better, much more organic. This is another escape and journey back home, basically the same as the first 2. Something’s got to give, or you’re just doing “direct to video” but releasing theatrically based on Pixar and TS’s rep.
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Inglourious Basterds: entertaining, but not up to it’s own hype
Torrented Inglourious Basterds the other day and watched it last night. The link goes to a good cam copy with hard-coded subs. Until very recently, the only copy available had Russian (in cyrillic) subs, while the audio was in the original’s French, German, Italian and English languages (depending on the script, different speakers speak different languages, their own and other languages used for plot points) and the movie was virtually impossible to follow unless you knew those languages.
Mindless, offensively stupid movies dragged to Part 2: Bank Job
Went to see this in March, wrote this, then ‘drafted’ it and forgot it. Back from the dead.
Some movies include stupid characters. The Bank Job includes a universe where everyone is stupid, and their stupidity is calculated and necessary to keep the plot going.
If any one group involved: the robbers, the criminals who are after them, the British Secret Service, the cops, the by-standers, everyone. weren’t so stupid the caper and the movie would be finished. Its lazy writing and very annoying. You can suspend disbelief, you don’t have to suffer lame ass scripting though.
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When are there Arwen? Lord of the Rings, the long-form, examined
Sorry for the lame pseudo-palindrome, but its better than Notlob.
After I first saw the movie LOTR a few years ago when it came out, I read celebutard propaganda like this, I wondered why the fuck did she make all that effort for about 6 lines of screen time?
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Mindless, offensively stupid movies dragged to Part I: Charlie Bartlett
Click for deeper and higher resolution insights into Ricci’s technique.
We very very very rarely go to a movie I’d like to see. Most of the time, we go to movies I not only do not particularly want to see, but that offend my sense of decency and decorum until I am as numb and sickened as Ignatius J. Reilly at a Paris Hilton bar opening.
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Sweeney Todd is no Nightmare
I knew there would be music in Tim Burton‘s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, I just guess I didn’t know there would be that much music, that the music would be rather forgettable and sung by non-singers to boot.
Johnny Depp is great in any role he does (well, other than his Southern accent in The Astronaut’s Wife) but he isn’t much of a singer, and it really impinges upon his acting. You can’t really act when you’re singing, because the phrasing and timing serve the music, not the plot points behind the lyrics.
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Re-watching Grindhouse
I didn’t make it to the movies to see Grindhouse. The one night I probably could have gone, my gf wasn’t in the mood to sit through a three-hour schlock-fest.
The fact is, she never is in that mood. And the only time I go to the movies is with my gf. I’m not going to go to a movie alone. I did rook her into going to 300 and she was pretty unhappy.
Anyway, I had to wait until Grindhouse came out on DVD so I could buy the movie at Amazon.
Movie Review: August Rush sucks like Anna Nicole in a room full of billionaires
I was roped into going to see August Rush against my will. It was either that, or Enchanted, and I figured, hey, lesser of two evils, right?
Synopsis didn’t sound that horrid, although I had not figured in the Freddie Highmore factor, nor the Robin Williams factor, both of which push the irritation quotient of any movie into the stratosphere. I should have November Rushed out of the theater, but I was trapped due to the gf factor.
As a professional musician, its possible I could have related to and agreed with the subject matter and some of opinions and views expressed about music in this movie. In theory, anyway.
In practice though, this movie is annoying, cloyingly sentimental, damned with cute ass kid actor mugging for the camera and doing precious little acting, Robin Williams, plot holes you could drive a truck through (and that’s in about 20 minutes worth of actual story, which is all this turd has) and mostly, the worst editing I have ever seen in a movie, and I’ve seen a shit-load of movies and am an aficionado of film cutting and camera direction.
Sin City had no heroes?
Bill Walsh says, in an article about 300:
Sin City’s world was all but devoid of the qualities one sees in the Spartans–self-sacrifice, valor, bravery, honor.
Ballet, then 300
One line reviews: 300- Henry V with way less jabberin’ and much more stabberin’ (although they don’t win like Harry)
or
The Alamo with no shootage but some minor boobage?
Ok, now I WANT to see 300
After reading this hilariously overblown review by Slate clown Dana Stevens I am damn sure going to see 300.
Team America Dicks Fuck Hollywood Pussies
Team America Dicks Fuck Hollywood Pussies
Team America is funny as hell and satisfies the urge every decent human being in America outside, which means everyone outside of Hollywood and SanFrancisco, to kill all activist “actors”
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Movie Review: Italian Job
I was given “The Italian Job” for my b’day. I am not a fan of car chase movies, I mean they haven’t made an original one since “The French Connection” and this movie had not only several long car chases, it has boat, helicopter and running chases too so I didn’t have high hopes. I like Donald Sutherland, Charlize Theron and Marky Mark is ok sometimes so I figured I’d give it a try.
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Why Robot?
Why Robot?
This week docweasel.com reviews a really shitty movie. cgi is going to be the death of moviemaking. And we’re not just talking about mass battle scenes that will make the word “epic” passe.
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Passion of the Christ/review
Passion of the Christ/review
This week docweasel.com brings you a review or a movie with no porn in it. Out of respect, we left the T&A off the frontpage this week. It’ll be back next week, no worries.
DVD Movie Review: Schindler’s List
Schindler’s List
Just got Schindler’s List on DVD, it came out Monday. I am really disgusted how a great movie like this gets such a shitty presentation and package and idiot movies like LOTR get a 5 disk box set. It’s a 2 sided disk, the height of cheapness on the part of the studio.
(There is a very sxpensive plexi-glass display box version, but that’s bullshit.)
There is no commentary track, which this is one movie that could really deserve one, while inanitites like The Italian Job and Under the Tuscan Sun you listen to some self-important director ramble on about how he got some stupid ass effect or what a great actress Sandra Ho is. Spielberg could have added some real insight into the making of this very important movie.
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Killer Uma & Naked Chiaki
Killer Uma & naked Chiaki
Impressions of the 4th film by Quentin Tarantino, Kill Bill, followed by very lovely pix of Chiaki Kuriyama, with very little on (click here).
Kill Bill
This week’s update by docweasel
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Matrix Really Loaded
“At one point Neon puts his entire fist up inside his girlfriend Trinatron’s body and its so romantic and it actually saves her life!!”
This week docweasel.com’s top reporter on the Hollywood gossip beat, Jeremy Taters, gives his take on the new hit movie Matrix Reloaded.
Matrix: Reloaded by Jeremy Tater
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SPIDERDUDE!
Spiderman in action in the new Spiderman Movie with amazing realistic special effects!
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Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a CGI superhero can!
Ok, first let me say, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I’ve seen the trailer and read a lot of comic books, so I basically figure out what happens.
From what I can gather, there is this villian named Greer Goblin (no relation to Greer Garson, a great TV character actress from the ’70’s). He’s played by William “Willum” Defoe, a craggy faced actor with a rugged, outdoorsy type of look. I knew a kid who had a skin condition like that back when I was in junior high who had really bad acne and it even oozed -we called him ‘acid-face’, you know how cruel kids can be! But it was all in fun =)
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Star Bores
“StarWars V! (fuck Lucas, its the fifth movie, I don’t care wtf he calls it): Attack of the Drones”
Space-age technology has eliminated the camel-toe! WARNING: Healthy hetero-males will feel some urge to ejaculate on Padme’s abs. This is perfectly normal, do not be alarmed.
Ok, first let me say, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I’ve seen a lot of short blurbs about it on TV and etc. so I basically can walk you thru it.
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