Category: movie reviews

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Circle (2017) The main problem I see with this movie is that it doesn’t hit the evilness and fascist tendencies of “progressives” who rule the tech world, and by extension, especially according to this movie, the rest of us. There’s a scene where two bright young wokers harangue her, but in a nice way, always smiling, like Mormons, saying disgusting things while acting like your best friend. They passive/agress bitch at her for not getting involved on social media enough.

That, and the company’s new product, a small processor/camera that can be stuck up anywhere and immediately send live video, facial recognition, etc etc. to a satellite. Not one person in this Apple-like mass meeting with Tom Hanks’ Steve Jobs brings up the fact that the government would love this.

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Hangman (2017) Arg. Another artificially contrived murder mystery where they killer has time, finances, intelligence enough insanity to stage multiple complicated murder scenes. As any real cop knows, it’s tough to set up a common garden variety murder without making a million mistakes, this guy does one ever 24 hours in succession and the cops can’t find him, even knowing he’s going to do one with a string of clues left behind. But even that isn’t as contrived as a few other plot points, like Pacino (what’s he doing, that fake Southern accent he thinks he can do?) as an old cop with a younger partner, plus a reporter tagging along as female relief.
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I take my valuable time to fix the fucked up plot Wikipedia had for Predators and some fucking powerprick editor deletes it with a smarmy note telling me to read the rules or something. Eventually, Wales will have to sell WIki because no way contributions will be able to pay for bandwidth. In the meantime, here’s the plot to Predators the pricks wouldn’t post:
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UPDATE Some of the videos are dead, unfortunately. A big drawback to YouTube is that vids go dead. Eventually that will kill it, just not soon enough for me.

The first LP I ever bought was Son of Schmilsson by Harry Nilsson which was an answer, I guess to his smash hit Nilsson Schmilsson, and a play on the name of course as a sequel.
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Sad, bitter news today. I am behind the times, as I have just heard an American company is remaking one of the favorite movies, made from an even better book, the Swedish film Let the Right One In. BUY IT on Amazon

Of course, because of the mad success of the brainless, poorly made and worse acted Twilight series, every ignorant fuck who sees this new American version will think, “oh, another rip-off movie for Twilight, with young vampires”, but they will be, as they always are in everything they say, think and do, wrong.
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Saw Toy Story 3 just now.
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Quick thoughts: another caper movie. It’s good to see and hear all the old gang back together, but the plot is just not up to Pixar’s standards. TS2 was much better, much more organic. This is another escape and journey back home, basically the same as the first 2. Something’s got to give, or you’re just doing “direct to video” but releasing theatrically based on Pixar and TS’s rep.
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Torrented Inglourious Basterds the other day and watched it last night. The link goes to a good cam copy with hard-coded subs. Until very recently, the only copy available had Russian (in cyrillic) subs, while the audio was in the original’s French, German, Italian and English languages (depending on the script, different speakers speak different languages, their own and other languages used for plot points) and the movie was virtually impossible to follow unless you knew those languages.

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Went to see this in March, wrote this, then ‘drafted’ it and forgot it. Back from the dead.

Some movies include stupid characters. The Bank Job includes a universe where everyone is stupid, and their stupidity is calculated and necessary to keep the plot going.

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If any one group involved: the robbers, the criminals who are after them, the British Secret Service, the cops, the by-standers, everyone. weren’t so stupid the caper and the movie would be finished. Its lazy writing and very annoying. You can suspend disbelief, you don’t have to suffer lame ass scripting though.
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Click for deeper and higher resolution insights into Ricci’s technique.
We very very very rarely go to a movie I’d like to see. Most of the time, we go to movies I not only do not particularly want to see, but that offend my sense of decency and decorum until I am as numb and sickened as Ignatius J. Reilly at a Paris Hilton bar opening.
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I knew there would be music in Tim Burton‘s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, I just guess I didn’t know there would be that much music, that the music would be rather forgettable and sung by non-singers to boot.

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Johnny Depp is great in any role he does (well, other than his Southern accent in The Astronaut’s Wife) but he isn’t much of a singer, and it really impinges upon his acting. You can’t really act when you’re singing, because the phrasing and timing serve the music, not the plot points behind the lyrics.
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I didn’t make it to the movies to see Grindhouse. The one night I probably could have gone, my gf wasn’t in the mood to sit through a three-hour schlock-fest.

The fact is, she never is in that mood. And the only time I go to the movies is with my gf. I’m not going to go to a movie alone. I did rook her into going to 300 and she was pretty unhappy.

Anyway, I had to wait until Grindhouse came out on DVD so I could buy the movie at Amazon.

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Bill Walsh says, in an article about 300:

Sin City’s world was all but devoid of the qualities one sees in the Spartans–self-sacrifice, valor, bravery, honor.

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One line reviews: 300- Henry V with way less jabberin’ and much more stabberin’ (although they don’t win like Harry)
or
The Alamo with no shootage but some minor boobage?

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After reading this hilariously overblown review by Slate clown Dana Stevens I am damn sure going to see 300.

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BUY Team America on Amazon

Team America Dicks Fuck Hollywood Pussies

Team America is funny as hell and satisfies the urge every decent human being in America outside, which means everyone outside of Hollywood and SanFrancisco, to kill all activist “actors”
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BUY Italian Job on Amazon

I was given “The Italian Job” for my b’day. I am not a fan of car chase movies, I mean they haven’t made an original one since “The French Connection” and this movie had not only several long car chases, it has boat, helicopter and running chases too so I didn’t have high hopes. I like Donald Sutherland, Charlize Theron and Marky Mark is ok sometimes so I figured I’d give it a try.
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Why Robot?

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This week docweasel.com reviews a really shitty movie. cgi is going to be the death of moviemaking. And we’re not just talking about mass battle scenes that will make the word “epic” passe.
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Passion of the Christ/review

This week docweasel.com brings you a review or a movie with no porn in it. Out of respect, we left the T&A off the frontpage this week. It’ll be back next week, no worries.

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BUY Schindler’s List on Amazon

Schindler’s List
Just got Schindler’s List on DVD, it came out Monday. I am really disgusted how a great movie like this gets such a shitty presentation and package and idiot movies like LOTR get a 5 disk box set. It’s a 2 sided disk, the height of cheapness on the part of the studio.

(There is a very sxpensive plexi-glass display box version, but that’s bullshit.)

There is no commentary track, which this is one movie that could really deserve one, while inanitites like The Italian Job and Under the Tuscan Sun you listen to some self-important director ramble on about how he got some stupid ass effect or what a great actress Sandra Ho is. Spielberg could have added some real insight into the making of this very important movie.
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BUY Kill Bill on Amazon

Killer Uma & naked Chiaki

Impressions of the 4th film by Quentin Tarantino, Kill Bill, followed by very lovely pix of Chiaki Kuriyama, with very little on (click here).
Kill Bill
This week’s update by docweasel
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BUY Matrix Reloaded on Amazon

“At one point Neon puts his entire fist up inside his girlfriend Trinatron’s body and its so romantic and it actually saves her life!!”

This week docweasel.com’s top reporter on the Hollywood gossip beat, Jeremy Taters, gives his take on the new hit movie Matrix Reloaded.

Matrix: Reloaded by Jeremy Tater
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Spiderman in action in the new Spiderman Movie with amazing realistic special effects!
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Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a CGI superhero can!

Ok, first let me say, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I’ve seen the trailer and read a lot of comic books, so I basically figure out what happens.

From what I can gather, there is this villian named Greer Goblin (no relation to Greer Garson, a great TV character actress from the ’70’s). He’s played by William “Willum” Defoe, a craggy faced actor with a rugged, outdoorsy type of look. I knew a kid who had a skin condition like that back when I was in junior high who had really bad acne and it even oozed -we called him ‘acid-face’, you know how cruel kids can be! But it was all in fun =)
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“StarWars V! (fuck Lucas, its the fifth movie, I don’t care wtf he calls it): Attack of the Drones”

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Space-age technology has eliminated the camel-toe! WARNING: Healthy hetero-males will feel some urge to ejaculate on Padme’s abs. This is perfectly normal, do not be alarmed.

Ok, first let me say, I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I’ve seen a lot of short blurbs about it on TV and etc. so I basically can walk you thru it.
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