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mpanfs 21 Bank Robber (Lingerie)

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Monty Python’s And Now For Something Completely Different


Scene 21: Bank Robber (Lingerie)

(Show statue of man and woman kissing and man blowing through her to make sounds).

Caption: Act II: How To Build Certain Interesting Things

(Shows junk on a stage. Hammer pounds junk into a jail prisoner’s arm with gun on a wheel. The arm becomes the robber’s arm.)

(Cut back to shop, the robber walks in and points gun at the assistant.)

Robber: Good morning, I am a bank robber. Er, please don’t panic, just hand over all your money.

Assistant: (politely) This is a lingerie shop, sir.

Robber: Fine, fine, fine. (slightly nonplussed) Adopt, adapt and improve. Motto of the round table. Well, um … what have you got?

Assistant: (still politely) Er, we’ve got corsets, stockings, suspender belts, tights, bras, slips, petticoats, knickers, socks and garters, sir.

Robber: Fine, fine, fine, fine. No large piles of money in sales?

Assistant: No, sir.

Robber: No deposit accounts?

Assistant: No sir.

Robber: No piles of cash in easy to carry bags?

Assistant: None at all sir.

Robber: No luncheon vouchers?

Assistant: No, sir.

Robber: Fine, fine. Well, um… adopt, adapt and improve. Just a pair of panties then please.

(The announcer appears to walk on the water of a moving river to his desk)

Announcer: And now for something completely different.

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