Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Scene 13 : Knights of Nih
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[spooky music]
[music stops]
HEAD KNIHGHT OF NIH: Nih!
KNIHGHTS OF NIH: Nih! Nih! Nih! Nih! Nih!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIHGHT: We are the Knights Who Say… ‘Nih’!
RANDOM: Nih!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say ‘Nih’!
HEAD KNIHGHT: The same!
BEDEVERE: Who are they?
HEAD KNIHGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: ‘Nih’, ‘Peng’, and ‘Neee-wom’!
RANDOM: Neee-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale.
HEAD KNIHGHT: The Knights Who Say ‘Nih’ demand a sacrifice.
ARTHUR: Knights of Nih, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who
lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIHGHT: Nih!
KNIHGHTS OF NIH: Nih! Nih! Nih! Nih! Nih!…
ARTHUR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!
HEAD KNIHGHT: We shall say ‘nih’ again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIHGHT: We want… a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
KNIHGHTS OF NIH: Nih! Nih! Nih! Nih!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Ow! Oh!
ARTHUR: Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIHGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood… alive.
ARTHUR: O Knights of Nih, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIHGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIHGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIHGHT: Now… go!