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mpfc 0507 Encyclopaedia Salesman

  1. monty python
  2. monty python’s flying circus tv
  3. mpfc season 1
  4. mpfc 0507 Encyclopaedia Salesman

Series 1, Episode 5: Encyclopaedia Salesman

The cast:
SALESMAN Eric Idle
WOMAN John Cleese
MAN Michael Palin

The sketch:
(Scene : A front door of a flat. A man walks up to the door and rings bell. He is dressed smartly, like a Salesman.)

Salesman: Burglar!
(longish pause while he waits, he rings again) Burglar!

(woman appears at other side of door)

Woman: Yes?

Salesman: Burglar, madam.

Woman: What do you want?

Salesman: I want to come in and steal a few things, madam.

Woman: Are you an encyclopaedia salesman?

Salesman: No madam, I’m a burglar, I burgle people.

Woman: I think you’re an encyclopaedia salesman.

Salesman: Oh I’m not, open the door, let me in please.

Woman: lf l let you in you’ll sell me encyclopaedias.

Salesman: I won’t, madam. I just want to come in and ransack the flat. Honestly.

Woman: Promise. No encyclopaedias?

Salesman: None at all.

Woman: All right.

(she opens door) You’d better come in then.

(Salesman enters through door.)

Salesman: Mind you I don’t know whether you’ve really considered the advantages of
owning a really fine set of modern encyclopaedias…

(he pockets valuable) You know, they can really do you wonders.

(Cut back to man at desk.)

Man: That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

(Cut to very tall building; a body flies out of a high window and plummets. Cut back to man at desk.)

Man: Now here are two unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesmen.

(Cut to a different tall building; two bodies fly out of a high window. Cut back to man at desk.)

Man: I think there’s a lesson there for all of us.

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