Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Scene 3 : Wrestling
from Monty Python’s Live at City Center and Live at Drury Lane
Presenter Michael Palin
Announcer John Cleese
Colin “Bomber” Harris Graham Chapman
Referee Terry Jones
Presenter Hello, good evening and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty little L.A. suburb of Hollywood. Well, we’re about to go in all for wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum, the world’s first ever combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing. And the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear missile! You never know when it’ll go off! Surprise your friends, amuse your enemies, start the party with a bang!
Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, all the way from a mudwrestling tour of the OPEC countries…in the red corner: Colin “Bomber” Harris!…and, ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner…all the way from a mudwrestling tour of the OPEC countries…Colin “Bomber” Harris!
Announcer Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time that Colin “Bomber” Harris has met himself. A few formalities now, any moment we’re out, we’ll be ready for the start of Round One. There goes the bell! Colin moves to the middle of the ring there, he’s looking for an opening, going for the handhold…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer He’s got it! Into the headsqueeze…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer A headsqueeze there…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer A favorite…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer …a favorite move of Colin’s —-…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer …flying there…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer …and already Colin is…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer …working on that weak left knee of his!
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer A half nelson…a half nelson and a Philadelphia Hamilton and Colin bit himself on purpose there, and he has been given a public warning by the referee, and Colin did not like that one little bit!
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer Double overhead nostril…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer …backkick and into the, ah, Boston crayfish, no, it’s a crawlfish, or is it a longestine, no, it’s a longestine! A lovely move there! He’s caught himself by surprise and this is the first fall to Colin “Bomber” Harris! Swell! A lovely move there! And Colin must be pretty pleased with himself having put himself up with that one! A strawberry whip, a vanilla whip, a chocolate whip…there it is, Colin’s most famous hold: the one-neck-over-shoulder-Gerry Ford and Colin’s in real trouble! He’s just made it to the rope…just a little lucky there…
Colin “Bomber” Harris Augh!
Announcer …and there it is, a double Eydie Gorm�, should be able to twist…but he does…but he’s looking pretty groggy…and I think he’s caught himself —-. Colin “Bomber” Harris has knocked himself out and so he is the winner and he goes on next week to meet himself in the final!