Series 4, Episode 42: Public Are Idiots
MRS MOCK TUDOR Graham Chapman
MRS ELIZABETH III Terry Jones
The sketch:Then cut to two twin-set-and-pearls ladies, Mrs Elizabeth III and Mrs Mock Tudor. They are in a sitting room with vulgar furnishings. By the TV, which they are watching, stands a small Arab boy. He has electrodes fixed to him and wires stretching from a control box held by Mrs Elizabeth III. They are watching the tramps.
Mrs Mock Tudor Bloody repeats!
She presses the switch. The arab boy flinches with pain and turns and switches of the TV set.
Mrs Elizabeth III Yes, repeats or war films. It really makes you want to micturate.
Mrs Mock Tudor People on television treat the general public like idiots.
Mrs Elizabeth III Well we are idiots.
Mrs Mock Tudor Oh no we are not!
Mrs Elizabeth III Well I am.
Mrs Mock Tudor How do you know you’re an idiot?
Mrs Elizabeth III Oh, I can show you!
Mrs Mock Tudor How?
Mrs Elizabeth III Look!
Cut to Mrs Elizabeth III coming out of the front door in a fairly well-to-do mock Tudor detached house in its own grounds. She runs headlong into a tree opposite the front door. Repeat a few times. Then she rushes into a field, digs a hole three feet deep and stands in it. Cut to her standing beside a letter box. She straps on a long false nose and pokes it through the letter box. She drinks a delicate cup of tea at a posh café and eats the whole cup. Cut to her nailing something to a lorry. The lorry starts off to reveal that she had been nailing herself to the lorry. She is dragged away. Cut to TV planners at a window, watching Mrs Elizabeth III doing silly things in a car park below them. She has a cream bun hanging from a long stick which comes out of her hat. She walks along strangely.