14 Aug 2007 11:55 AM
Dana Parish wants to be your friend!
Mark As Spam
We were spammed by this wannabe roxtar repeatedly until we felt the need to respond. Just so you don’t waste time waiting for her over-pimped out Myspace page to load, we can report she’s sort of a poor man’s Anna Nalick, but with less (if you can imagine it) range vocally, musically and lyrically.
Her keyboard talent seems limited to block chords, her vocal range is probably one and a half octave, her lyrics sophomoric and derivative, as are her melodies. Most of her songs are ripped off directly, if ineptly, from other artists.
She is also only marginally presentable visually, to be kind, she is rather plain. She has neither style nor grace and zero star quality. She dims out a room when she comes in.
In other words, she’s going nowhere. So all this prostitution and annoying spammage is for naught. But it needed answered, because most asshats don’t realize they are annoying little twats until its pointed out to them, very plainly and bluntly, and then it usually doesn’t take because of the rather low level intellect with which you’re dealing. But its worth a try to reach that simian brain in her pointed little head, and it might save many other people the annoyance of accidentally clicking her link and being subjected to her whinging voice splintering the scales on another of her dreary & doleful dirges set to her fulsome funerial fugues.
Hi Dana or whoever runs her myspace.
We don’t friend-whore. We add FRIENDS, as in people we know, we communicate with regularly, with whom we have things in common, who might be interested in our local shows, with whom we’ve exchanged bodily fluids, etc.
We don’t just send out friend requests to every fucking band we can find to spam. It sucks. I spend half my time on Myspace denying friend-whores like you who just want to artificially pump up their list so they look popular, or really, I don’t know why they do it. To look busy?
‘Look Dana, look how many “friends” I got for you!’
We aren’t in the NY area, not even close so we can’t come to your shows (thank you Jesus, for that small favor). We’ll have to be content with hearing the same basic noise that you call your “music” emanating from the trash compacter at the insane asylum up the road from our tiny hut.
Why the hell would you want us for a friend or why would we friend you? Except for some shallow, stupid reason like “Wow lookie at us, we have 7.2k+ friends! Ain’t we coo?”
Here’s a hint: if you want REAL friends, at least visit the band or the fan’s Myspace page, read a bit about them, send a personal note telling them why you wanna be friends, and requesting they friend you if they think they might be interested. Quit spamming wholesale for friends. Because it makes you a whore. And its insulting to the people to whom you do it.
Or, we sometimes friend people whose musical abilities and talents we respect. When you get a smidgen of either, drop us a line and perhaps we’ll gird our loins and attempt another listen at that pathetically thin, whining gruel you serve up as ear-candy. Gargling with glass has not improved your vocal capabilities, except to communicate with other cats in heat.
Thanks for reading.
yer pal (but not friend) in FL
UPDATE: 08.23.07: thanks to her spam salvo, Dana has now whored her way up to 32k friends! Nice whoring!
UPDATE II 11.11.07: Dana is now back down to 13k friends, reportedly because of spamming complaints by other members. Try spending more time honing your composition skillz and less time writing friend requests. Just a tip from a musician to a myspace queen 😉