This week docweasel.com’s Peach brings you a review of some great and not-so-great horror movies from her DVD collection.
I guess I’ll start going through my collection and letting people know which are good and which are not. How about my opinion on some horror films? Remember, though, I don’t find horror films scary, so if you do -> take that into account when reading the reviews.
28 Days Later (2002)
28 Days Later, by director Danny Boyle, either you like it or you hate it. Anyone who watches it hoping for a horror film is going to hate it. It’s more of a political statement in the theme of Resident Evil. There’s not as much action but a better story line. Some of the scenes are very gory and it will keep you in suspense. I liked it because it has the possibility of coming true, which is more horrifying than most horror stories. It’s entertaining and thought-provoking. to shocking…but I won’t tell you how it ends.
April Fool’s Day (1986)
April Fool’s Day, by director Fred Walton, will make you stop relying on your friends and start watching your own back. Trapped on an island at a party, people start dying and no one has a clue who, or what, is doing it. I can’t tell you much more without revealing whodunit. All I can say is…this movie will kill you! Horror movies will never be the same again. Anyone want a reservation?
Cabin Fever (2002)
Cabin Fever, by director Eli Roth, is hilarious. If you live in the city you’ll think twice about going into the country and you definitely WON’T drink the water when you get there. Have you ever felt like laughing and puking at the same time? Well, some of the scenes in this will make you feel that way. The family friendly version is a riot. This is a must-see bloody comedy.
fEaRdOTCom, directed by William Malone, was a disappointment. At best it could be considered creepy, but I don’t see it. It had some disgusting scenes, but little else. But, because I have to find something good about any movie…it was interesting. Maybe a study in psychological reactions to fears. But, pretty much forgetful.
Fear of the Dark (2002)
Fear of the Dark, directed by K C Bascombe, is a great babysitting movie. (But not for the really little kids.) It will either send them screaming for their beds or it will make you the coolest babysitter they know, meaning repeat business. Consider this a starter horror movie, not bad, but not movie theatre quality.
The Gate, directed by Tibor Takacs, is another starter horror movie. It seems to be low-budget, but aimed more at the younger crowd. If you want your kids to stop digging in the back yard, this movie might just do the trick. It’s lame for the older set, but kids should definitely find it creepy.
Ghost Ship (2002)
Ghost Ship, directed by Steve Beck, has some good special effects with explanations in the special effects sections (worth viewing) but as for the story…it’s pretty run-of-the-mill. Will they survive? There are some tense scenes, but the best of this show is the effects.
Lost Voyage (2001)
Lost Voyage, directed by Christian McIntire, is a Bermuda-triangle, psychic phenomenon spook fest. Did that sound boring? It was. Lame story, so-so effects, some good acting, but mostly boring. The up side? I didn’t fall asleep. (Maybe that’s not so up, I could’ve used a couple hours of rest.)
Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Nightmare on Elm Street, directed by Wes Craven, is a cult classic. It helped pave the way into a new era of horror films. Gory and disturbing, it’s a great shock fest. Don’t watch this right before going to bed. Some of the sequels make the grade as well, but this is a must as a classic in your horror collection.
Poltergeist, a Steven Spielberg film directed by Tobe Hooper, is another cult classic. It shouldn’t really be touted as a horror, but it doesn’t fit anywhere else. For the guys…a girl runs around in a t-shirt and panties and then crawls up the walls. It’s a pretty tame movie compared to some today, but the little old lady is good for a few laughs. Along these lines is Amityvilleand it’s sequels.
S-I-C-K, directed by Bob Willems, is just that, sick. It’s one of the stupidest films I have ever watched. The only good thing about this movie is that clowns can’t fool us with those big, fake smiles anymore…we know they’re really sick.
Snow White, A Tale of Terror (2002)
Snow White, A Tale of Terror, directed by Michael Cohn and starring Sigourney Weaver and Sam Neil, is a creepy rendition of a child’s fairy tale. I liked the dwarves in the movie, more believable than 7 short guys with picks. Sigourney is very creepy and will give you the willies. Definitely worth a look, but don’t show it to the kids, Snow White will never be the same afterward.
Wrong Turn (2002)
Wrong Turn, directed by Rob Schmidt, is another movie that will keep city people out of the woods. I don’t know how scary it is to city people, but I’m from the country and I found it laughable. I could see how the city kids who got lost were freaked out and scared, but it doesn’t scare the watcher in any effect. There is a good room full of gore that’s interesting, but I was still bummed by it.
bonus, non-horror action movie
Cellular, starring Kim Basinger and Chris Evans, is a romping-fun, fast-paced, action movie. It will definitely put you in a good mood, that is, unless you’re someone who cheers for the bad guys. I can’t figure out which ending I liked better, the featured one or the alternate, because they were both good as endings. Ryan (Chris Evans) is our hero who has to get by on his wits and has some great scenes that really pull you into the action. It gives you plenty of time to make guesses as to what is going on and who is who before they reveal the surprising answers. I definitely recommend this one. It is very entertaining. But, you, there, yeah, you, the one with the cell phone…don’t ever call me again.