docweasel.com resident funnyman Bad Brad Rampton has always wanted to take a shot at a pr0n story, so here’s his sexytime erotic story about a thinly disguised catwoman.
Living and Losing a Double Life
by Brad Rampton
Anne Haffaway lived two lives. During the daytime she was a good worker at the public library, wearing only conservative clothes that hid the curves beneath, and driving an older Taurus car. With her hair pulled back in a bun and wearing no makeup her modest appearance wouldn’t suggest that underneath that facade was a completely different person, just like that actress who played Catwoman.
The different person would appear after the sun went down and Anne Haffaway became a rich debutante lesbian, driving her sporty BMW convertible, and dancing until dawn with many young attractive lesbian women at the local lesbian nightclub.
The only problem was that Anne Haffaway was neither rich nor a debutante and couldn’t carry on her lifestyle without stealing, and Anne Haffaway was considered one of the best cat burglars in New York City, by Women’s Studies professors who followed her career of rifling through dresser drawers and swiping watches and rings left unattended on vanities and bedside tables. Police thought her a clumsy petty thief and already had her pegged, they just needed to pick her up. She was totally physically unable to perform the kinds of moves and jumps and pulling your weight up that masculine upper body strength allowed.
She was slim, elegant, graceful and almost the spitting image of the actress who portrayed Catwoman in the newest Batman incarnation. She behaved much as that actress did, comporting herself with an easy grace, a completely empowered female exploiting the weaknesses of the richer classes to live a life of luxury and ease.
She was so good at what she did and so aware of her own intelligence and mastery that she was quite sure she would never be caught.
However, she did feel a strange twinge when preparing to rob this new house, like a goose had walked on her grave, she felt gooseflesh on her arms. She had a feeling it was going to be a bad night before she left her brownstone house on the upper West side, but had decided that she needed the money to pay bills, and besides, she was young, smart and oh so empowered and athletic, able to do jumps and leaps and vaults and even fight equal to any man, even though her upper body strength and musculature was decidedly less strong and agile than a man, if you watched the movies you’d know that a woman could perform these feats exactl like a man, if not better, so went to work anyway.
Climbing down from the roof of the apartment building wasn’t hard, because hardly anybody puts an alarm on their balcony door, well anyone but this house, which she would have known if she had known how to read engineering plans, which she didn’t.
And robbing people’s houses didn’t require doing a single pullup, something Anne had never been able to do, but the calculations that Anne Haffaway had done about distances and room sizes was wrong, so instead of entering the living room, she entered the bedroom of the penthouse owners 16 year old niece. Like all women, she had never been very good at math, and now it had fucked her good. Damn the patriarchy! Her feeling of superior intellect felt a little hurt at the cognitive dissodence at her fucking up the plans so often brought to light.
She had never been good at math, algebra, engineering, electronics or any of the STEM fields that were really necessary for a modern cat burglar in keeping up with alarm system and being strong and athletic enough to master the skills an entrance to a highly guarded property required, or even reading building plans to learn the placement of wiring, lights, telephone lines, plumbing, load bearing walls and columns, really anything to actually BE a cat burglar other than wearing elegant gowns and being stunningly beautiful and sexy.
Much like the real-life actress who played Catwoman, without the special effects she’d never be able to rob shit, let alone punch, kick and defend herself against even the slubbiest of men.
In fact, most of the jobs Haffaway had pulled had entailed wandering away from the party and pilfering unlocked jewelry boxes. She clumsily had left her fingerprints on a few of these and it would only be a short time before she was tracked down. But at this time, she was still sure of her own invincibility, after all, her Women’s Studies teacher had ingrained in her the fact that all STEM fields and physical trials were contrived and slanted by the patriarchy to be biased against women and she could do anything a man could.
Except use the building plans to locate and properly disarm the alarm system or even figure out which room to enter. She did manage to climb the ladder (barely ) to reach the 2nd floor, but she was stupidly in the wrong part of the house, the alarm system had been silently triggered and she had clumsily knocked the ladder down, making quick escape the way she came in impossible. She basically performed just the Catwoman actress would in a real life situation, without male stuntmen to set up her lines and harnesses and etc. She did have big emotional eyes though.
They were both shocked, Anne Haffaway and the niece. Because when Anne Haffaway entered the bedroom the cute brunette niece had her nightie bunched up in her lap and was fingering her pussy furiously as she watched a lesbian movie on her computer.
Anne Haffaway was instantly turned on, and when the niece started to ask who she was, and almost at the same instant asked to please not tell her auntie, Anne Haffaway walked over and asked if it was a good movie, with a big grin. If there was one thing she could do, it was eat 16 year old pussy. You didn’t need stupid old STEM fields or upper body strength or testosterone to do that. Well, maybe a bit more testosterone than an average, hetero female, but not much. And Anne had just enough. She was ready to cut out the small talk and dive that muff.
As the niece started to describe what was happening in the movie, Anne Haffaway brushed her hand away from her pussy, and saying that she would help her with that, and brushed her fingers against the girls hot wet pussy, until she licked the girls pussy juice from her fingers, and then offered her fingers to the girl so that she could lick them and taste herself.
Kneeling in front of the girl and plunging her finger in her hot wet pussy Anne Haffaway asked the girl if it felt good, and all the girl could do was moan a yes and throw her head back as Anne Haffaway finger fucked her young pussy.
With her hand moving like a machine, Anne Haffaway finger fucked the girl and told her that her pussy looked so beautiful that she had to kiss it, while dropping her face to the girls pussy and licking her delicate folds. Tasting the young girls pussy honey, Anne Haffaway continued to lick, while parting her virginal pussy lips and swirling her hot tongue over the girls swollen clit, as it peaked out from its hood.
The young girl in the throes of passion threw her head back, put her hand on Anne Haffaway’s head, and moaned, as she had her first orgasm induced by a woman.
Anne Haffaway could tell that the girl had enough and her young pussy was to sensitive for anymore licking she started to get up, as the girl looked at her. She realized having sex with a underage teenager in a house she was robbing was a stupid thing to do, but being a woman she was pretty much at the mercy of her hormones, and when she wanted 16 year old pussy, she wanted 16 year old pussy and she was going to eat it, by god.
With a motion the girl pointed out the right door that lead to the living room and let Anne Haffaway know that she knew who Anne Haffaway was but she didn’t care because her aunt was rich, so Anne Haffaway gave her a big smile and a wink as she headed for the living room, totally trusting that this over-sexed kid she’d just met who was so psychotic she had sex with women who busted in her balcony door in the dead of night was a girl to be trusted. That’s what having a superior intellect was all about!
It was dark, but Anne Haffaway had a pencil size flashlight and began her search for valuables when all at once the light was turned on and a female voice told her not to move because she had a gun.
Never being so scared in her life Anne Haffaway vowed to herself that if she ever got out of this she would quit living two lives. Reality had now shown her that being weak, ignorant and totally out of her league mentally and physically meant that all the Women’s Studies profs in the world tellling her she was good as a man didn’t mean diddley. She wasn’t, not nearly. That’s why 99.999999% of robbers and 99.999999999999999999% of successful robbers were men. Most women robbers were toothless junkies who lured disgusting men with the promise of sleazy sex like Eileen Warnos and then murdered the guy while he was naked. Movie-type female cat burglars like the one the Catwoman actress played just didn’t exist in the real world. She felt a little betrayed by that fact.
Slowly turning around Anne Haffaway saw a beautiful brunette, holding a gun and wearing only a negligee. The thing that struck Anne Haffaway was that the brunette, who couldn’t be over 30 had just the tip of her tongue slightly sticking out of her mouth, which had an erotic effect on Anne Haffaway. Of course, nearly everything had an erotic effect on Anne, she was a total slutbag who would lift tail at the drop of a hat, and having a gun pointed at her was no exception.
As she slowly approached the woman with the gun, Anne Haffaway had to smile slightly as the woman told her that she smelled pussy, and that if Anne Haffaway was going to be tasting pussy that night she was going to taste hers, and led Anne Haffaway to the bedroom. Anna smiled. If there was one thing she could do, it was eat MILF pussy after eating her daughter’s pussy.
After demanding that Anne Haffaway strip, the woman seductively undressed and had Anne Haffaway kneel in front of her as she sat on the edge of the bed, with her legs parted wide, showing her beautiful pussy.
Anne Haffaway knelt and put her hands on the woman’s inner thighs, while looking into her beautiful face with that naughty tip of her tongue sticking out, before kissing and licking her delicate pussy folds.
Licking and nibbling on her pussy lips, Anne Haffaway used her thumbs to part her pussy lips and licked her inner lips before swirling her tongue over the woman’s swollen hot wet clit.
As she tasted the woman’s hot wet pussy and swirled her tongue in a little circle around the woman’s clit Anne Haffaway penetrated her pussy with first one finger then another, and finger fucked her as she licked.
Wanting to tease her for as long as possible to make her orgasm stronger Anne Haffaway kept backing off as she felt the woman getting close to cumming.
Finally Anne Haffaway misjudged and the woman, who almost screamed to suck Sherri’s pussy, came with a mind blowing orgasm and squirted her pussy honey almost to the back of Anne Haffaway’s throat.
After playing for a while longer Sherri told Anne Haffaway that she should go, in case the police had been called, and Anne Haffaway left reluctantly, the same way she came in, but forgetting that she’d knocked the ladder down she nearly stumbled off the balcony to fall to her death 50 feet below. But one thing saved her from falling to her death.
As Anne Haffaway reached the balcony door, she looked longingly back at the young girl and her beautiful brunette aunt, then her eyes widened in shock and terror at the gun in the little girl’s hand.
The brunette shot her, first in the center of the solar plexus, then both knees, the most painful areas of the human body in which to be wounded. Gut-shot and knee-capped, the pain was so horrific the thief fell to her shattered knees, then toppled over on her side, still screaming silently as the agony washed over her in red waves.
Before she passed out in pain and shock, she saw the brunette loom over her, pointing the gun between her eyes.
“I’m going to let you bleed out for a while, but I’ll take pity and execute you before you totally black out,” said the young girl, who was quite cool about having just shot someone, probably mortally wounding them.
When she had bled out to the point she no longer felt any pain or really, anything, the girl placed the gun a foot away from her forehead. The cat burglar was almost grateful when a red explosion filled her brain, followed by utter blackness. Her last thought was, “I knew I had a bad feeling about going out tonight.”
On the bed, the 16 year old was calmly talking to the police, explaining that a robber had broken into the house and had raped her before being shot by her aunt. No inquest was found to be necessary. The coroner removed the body and after the police had sympathetically concluded their short interview with the girl and the woman, the aunt and her 16 year old lover discussed what city they should visit next to bait the trap for another beautiful lesbian thief.
Their next conquest would make an even dozen. Girl-power movies had indoctrinated an entire generation of women into thinking they were the physical and mental equals of men, and therefore should be able to do physical and mental tasks on the same level. This had led to a lot of stupid girls getting casually murdered by these 2 psychopaths, because if there’s one thing women were the equal of men at, it was brutality and sexual deviancy.