I just read this wonderful satire by giant douche Froma Harrop.
What a delightfully silly and stupid name for what is obviously a humorous concoction by some right-wing wag: and it’s just a classic! You’d think it was serious, but no one could be that much of a dull witted, cretinous wanker, of course not.
Here’s some highlights from her concern-troll paean to how McCain, in her fuckstick dim-witted opinion, has shot himself in the foot, after having the election all but sewn up; as a near, but dignified loss, and now, since she frightfully suspects he might win, she pretends to give advice and careful concern as to how he could get back to respectability, while losing graciously to the much more suitable Magic Negro:
I had dinner last night with a Republican-leaning independent who was despondent over John McCain’s choice of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate. She had been looking forward to supporting McCain as a fiscal conservative with a deep understanding of foreign relations. But all she could now see was that picture of Palin’s pregnant 17-year-old looking defiant and stupid as she held mom’s fifth baby.
That’s how you win friends and influence people, castigate 17-year olds, who are being exposed to a huge media feeding frenzy glare, as “stupid”. Why are only Republicans and their families stupid? Why never Democrats? Has there ever been a stupid look on Chelsea’s face? How about the Gore harridans? Or Al Gore’s drug addicted, drunk son? Anyone?
Then who does McCain pick for VP? A 44-year-old who parades her dysfunctional family as a poster-child for conservative values.
Dysfunctional, unlike, say, Hillary Clinton’s family.
Who has virtually no foreign policy experience.
Unlike, say, the Democrat top of the ticket.
Who as mayor of an Alaskan town of 6,700 hired lobbyists to reel in $27 million in federal pork. That’s $4,030 of the U.S. taxpayers’ money per resident. We thought McCain wanted to close down the trough.
Unlike, say, the laundry list of new benefits the guy at the top of the Democrat ticket promised a week or so ago to all and sundry.
Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has five children, but she waited until they were grown before she ran for high political office.
Unlike, say, Joe Biden, single father with 2 bereaved sons and with no Mom.
Palin returned to the job three days after giving birth to a special needs child, all the while her 17-year-old is entertaining a lover.
Charming, Frooma. Envious?
And what about plans to have the girl wed the stud, author of some very unromantic remarks on Facebook? Note that she’s been pregnant for five months and still no matrimony. These nuptials couldn’t be a last-minute political move, could they?
Well, nice to see you’ve been doing some research into the Presidential election. Have you checked out their MySpace yet?
Palin supporters insist that her out-of-control home life will resonate with many American families. Yes, if they’re from Mars or perhaps on welfare.
Yes, because teen pregnancy is unheard of here on planet Earth, from which, unfortunately, Frooma herself does not seem to hail. What elitist, fuckstick, offensive tripe. You’ll only relate to Palin if you are on welfare. Because only welfare families, those low-class, lower-class uneducated, unwashed, inbred, buck-toothed, ill-bred, hillbillies would have an unwed teenage mother in the family.
And that makes her family out of control. Never mind she’s the fucking GOVERNOR OF THE FUCKING STATE, raising five kids, by all accounts with a great marriage and great kids (good kids do make bad choices Froma, if she’d just taken the easy, leftist way, and aborted the “clump of cells” she could have avoided a great deal of trouble, but you don’t give her any credit for taking responsibility for her actions nor the boy who has pledged to marry her and support his new family, no, they are out of control, and only welfare families are so fucking despicable and detestable as these Palin scum.
My god, you are a bitter, mean-spirited, partisan whore. Who else could write such a sentence as you did?
What a McCain presidency now promises is another four years of Terri Schiavo and other artifacts of the cultural right. You remember Schiavo’s husband having to fight the Bush administration and Republican Congress to remove his wife — in a vegetative state for 15 years — from life support.
Why yes, yes I do, against her parent wishes, so he could get along with his life with his new paramour. And I remember the Democrat politicians, to a man (or woman) bent over backwards in their zeal to kill her. I really don’t think I’d bring that up as the Dems finest hour, Frooma. See, this all has a theme: the Democrats worry more about killing animals and terrorists than they do about protecting unborn (or even accidentally born!) babies or those who cannot speak for themselves.
One tries to untangle McCain’s political calculations. The Schiavo case, creationism and similar excesses appeal to a passionate but small slice of the electorate. They are one reason voters are booting Republicans out of power.
Ah ah ah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now Frooma, even if Obama and the MSM seem to be measuring the curtains daily.
You can’t figure McCain. He had been doing well up to now — holding even with Obama in a dreadful year for Republicans and building support among the independents who call the shots in swing states. This Palin deal makes you question not only his judgment, but — if he really had vetted Sarah Palin — his sanity.
And we all know that Frooma Harrop can have nothing but the Republicans’ electoral goodwill in mind! McCain would do well to listen to this lady! Every word she speaks is loaded with leftist goodness!
I was so charmed I had to immediately put cyber pen to paper and dash her off an email to congratulate her on her triumph:
Please, NEVER stop writing. Listen, you, I and other intelligent people will know you were kidding, but middle America will never figure it out, and leftists will be so easy lapping it up they’ll never catch on, so keep up the good work. Calling Bristol Palin’s face “defiant and stupid”. Gving Palin hell for not staying with her kids while giving virtually every male politician the lief to leave them home with the Mrs: oh, well except for in the case of Biden, whose wife had tragically been killed. Those boys were probably with some nanny or other, so that’s ok.
And playing the concern troll, acting as if you actually cared about McCain’s supposed damage from naming Palin, masterful! Of course, that’s harder to sell when all of the sudden McCain is going to be scoring SRO crowds and now has double the campaigning power, I mean, who would come out to hear BIDEN, fercrissakes, and Palin will be packing them in, but still, you made a good effort.
One request, do you think you could write maybe 3-4 columns a week? It will prove invaluable toward driving voters to McCain if you can continue to write such snotty, smug, hateful, asinine, sexist, hare-brained, idiotic and counter-productive (for the Obama campaign! wink wink!) columns, but at a much greater rate. This will be a close election and we need to remind people just what asses the kind of people who back Obama are, and who will be in charge if he wins, you know, like the kind you pretend to be.
You almost had me fooled for a second but I says to the Missus, “no one could be this clueless to how stupid she sounds, not even a hard core leftist shill with a name like Frooma Harrop! That has GOT to be a put on!
You are probably doing better service than 20 columnists writing in support of McCain or criticizing Obama could. My hat’s off to you, lady.
JOHN MCCAIN/SARAH PALIN 2008
SARAH PALIN/JEB BUSH 2012!
Now excuse me, I have to take a hefty froma and then wipe my harrop.