Japanders
Pander:n., & v.t. 1. go-between in clandestine amours, procurer; one who ministers to evil designs. 2 v.i. minister (to base passions or evil designs, or person having these)
Japander:n.,& v.t. 1. a western star who uses his or her fame to make large sums of money in a short time by advertising products in Japan that they would probably never use. ~er (see synecure, prostitute) 2. to make an ass of oneself in Japanese media.
This week we feature Japander.com.
The “mission” of Japander is to poke a little fun at famous people who advertise in Japan but don’t do it back home.
For full enjoyment of these pages, please ensure that your seat belts are fastened, javascript is enabled on your browser and you have the Quicktime plug-in (Version 4.X or better).
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/arnold.png)
Arnold shows his acting versatility in a multi-role ad
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/schwarz2.png)
A mal-nourished, unshaven Arnold speaks Japanese to bizarre smiley face
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/schwarz3.png)
Arnold plays an alcoholic in the grip of the D.T.s
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/shields.png)
Brooke in the grip of caffeine addiction
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/schwarz4.png)
More strangeness from Arnold
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/stiller.png)
More of the monkey-like antics Ben Stiller has become famous for- in commercial form!
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/lennon.png)
Cashing in on the Lennon name and cheapening the legacy
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/starr.png)
Ringo further cheapens the legacy
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/stewart.png)
Rod the Mod sells you a Legacy
Some pretty funny Simpsons ads- they translate well to Japanese, maybe the Korean artists make it more Oriental or something
Leonardo DiCaprio, to the rescue, punching a Little Leaguer, interacting with dogs and birds, but always in a WagonRR with Oriami Gold Card
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/bush.png)
Dubya calls a reporter an asshole, which seems redundant
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/dan.png)
Dan Ackroyd, old, fat and senile
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/falk.png)
Columbo, ace detective, investigating some Azn pussy
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/madonna2.png)
Madonna fights a dragon and drinks tea
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/madonna3.png)
Madonna fights a spectre and drinks tea
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/muppet.png)
Elmo tickles you
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/pitt20.png)
Brad fucks with a Japanese blonde
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/pitt22.png)
More Pitt Charm
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/pitt25.png)
Yet more
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/ryder2.png)
Winona not stealing anything, as far as we can tell
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/ryder3.png)
Winona, still hopped up on caffeine
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/sands2.png)
Julian Sands, looking bizarre as ever
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/stallone.png)
Sly plays the cello with YoYo and eats ham
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/foster7.png)
Jody sells her soul
![](http://docweasel.com/img/00/02/fox.png)
Little man Michael J. Fox goes fishing