MONIKER-mad Russell Ash has trawled mountains of official records to find the world’s most comical names – and found thousands of rib ticklers including Ima Gay, Ada Poo and Fanny E C Lay.
Potty parents nationwide must have either been bonkers or just plain cruel according to his findings.
His new book lists 3,000 of the most unfortunate titles including Ben Dover, Anna Sassin, Pete Sake, Rusty Pipes, Rhoda Broom, Joy Rider, Justin Case, John Thomas Willy and Sandy Beach.
Pat Fenis is a just a spoonerism away from vulgarity and Eva Faithful is included as is Bonk Register, Booby Ogle and Wiggy Piggy and one Lancashire-born baby named Wooloomooloo Roscoe.
There is a Zaiboom McDoom, Elle Fant, Don Key, Eileen Dover, Ura Buffalo, Wanton Coward, Smallpox Tommy and a boy called Tom Tom who probably never got lost!
Others include Placenta Hightshoe, Plegm Click, Hysteria Johnson and Lallu Lala Lad, along with Love Reading, Lovely Day, Lucious Bacon, Tiny Man and Young Love.
The pages also list Wee Girlie Potter, Womble Scoggins, Jangle Bowles, Gush Treacle, Grunt Little, Dong Dong, Ping Pong, Rip Van Wonkis, Fizzy Allgood and spare a thought for Pedor File.
Ophelia Balls was likely to have been ribbed at school and Pearl E Gates and Olive Branch might be unfortunate but Mary Zarse, Ed Banger, Isaac Balls and Etta Lott all raise a smile.
The book, “Frou-Frou, Frisby and Brick”, is a fifth former’s treasure trove of innuendo and lavatorial humour.
In the book Juan King rubs shoulders with Dick Bellend, while Eric Schon and Randy Bumgardner cause titters.
There is also a chapter of those who have deliberately changed their names which include Daniel Westfallen who is now called Happy Adjustable Spanners.
George Garratt is now known as Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined.
Gary Brett changed his name to Hong Kong Phooey and Steven Lane is now Jellyfish McSavaloy.
Martin Smith wasn’t satisfied with his name and is now Martin Felix Oddsocks McWeirdo El-Tooty Fruity Farto Hello Hippopotamus Bum.
Author Russell, 64, from Lewes, East Sussex, who recently passed away, said:”It was my publisher who suggested I did the book. I had to be careful of people who are still alive because of legal reasons.
“Sometimes parents get it horribly wrong and all these names have come from birth registers, census returns and official documents.
“When people get married it is not their fault when their names become funny. Cornwall and Yorkshire are good areas for finding these names. Places away from urban areas tend to go their own way.
“My favourites are ones like Drew Peacock and Chris P Bacon, but I also like ones where the surname is already funny.
“There is one person called Jonah Whalebelly and another called Lettice Pray and there is of course Mary Christmas.
“They are all 100 per cent genuine and come from official documents”.
The book is published by Headline and is priced £6.99.