Monty Python’s And Now For Something Completely Different
Scene 19: Lumberjack Song
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LUMBERJACK:
I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.
MOUNTIES:
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
LUMBERJACK:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin’
And have buttered scones for tea.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
LUMBERJACK:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women’s clothing
And hang around in bars.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women’s clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
LUMBERJACK:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I’d been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama.
LUMBERJACK and MOUNTIES:
I (He) cut(s) down trees. I (He) wear(s) high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
(The music cuts off as the Mounties stop singing and begin instead to yell ‘Pansie!’ and such at the Lumberjack. The Lumberjack continues to sing over them.)
LUMBERJACK:
I wish I’d been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa!
(The Lumberjack assumes a majestic pose but it is of little use. He looks worriedly back and forth.)
His Girl: Oh, Bevis! And I thought you were so BUTCH!!
(She runs off crying, and the Mounties begin to pelt the Lumberjack with tomatoes, booing. He wipes them off his face as best he can, but they keep coming. Eventually he shuffles dejectedly out of the scene. We pan with him, and eventually see the announcer, who is being roasted by three old ladies ona spit.)
Announcer: And now for something completely different.