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mphg 16 ‘Hurry, Sir Launcelot. Hurry!’

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Monty Python & the Holy Grail


Scene 16 : ‘Hurry, Sir Launcelot. Hurry!’

[inside castle]

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
[outside castle]

GUEST: ‘Morning!

SENTRY #1: ‘Morning.

SENTRY #2: Oooh.

SENTRY #1: [ptoo]

LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Hiyya!

SENTRY #2: Hey!

LAUNCELOT: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]

LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Huy!

GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!

LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!…

GUARD #1: Now, you’re not allowed to enter the room– aaugh!

LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. I have come to take y– Oh, I’m terribly sorry.

HERBERT: You got my note!

LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I– I got a– a note.

HERBERT: You’ve come to rescue me!

LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn’t–

HERBERT: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there…
[music]

LAUNCELOT: Well, I–

HERBERT: …there must be… someone…

FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?

HERBERT: I’m your son!

FATHER: No, not you.

LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am Sir Launcelot, sir.

HERBERT: He’s come to rescue me, Father.

LAUNCELOT: Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.

FATHER: Did you kill all those guards?

LAUNCELOT: Uh… Oh, yes. Sorry.

FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each!

LAUNCELOT: Well, I’m awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.

HERBERT: Don’t be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot. I’ve got a rope all ready.

FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!

LAUNCELOT: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

FATHER: I can understand that.

HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!

FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride’s father, that’s all!

LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn’t mean to…

FATHER: Didn’t mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!

LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?

FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!

LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see–

FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?

HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!

LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.

FATHER: Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.

LAUNCELOT: Is it?

HERBERT: Hurry! I’m ready!

FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?

LAUNCELOT: Well, that– that’s, uh, awfully nice of you,…

HERBERT: I am ready!

LAUNCELOT: …um, I mean to be so understanding.
[thonk]
Um,…
[woosh]

HERBERT: Oooh!

LAUNCELOT: …I’m afraid when I’m in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.

FATHER: Oh, don’t worry about that.

HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]

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