Monty Python’s Life of Brian
Scene 8: Romanes Eunt Domus
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[scary music]
CENTURION: What’s this, then? ‘Romanes Eunt Domus’? ‘People called Romanes they go the house’?
BRIAN: It– it says, ‘Romans, go home’.
CENTURION: No, it doesn’t. What’s Latin for ‘Roman’? Come on!
BRIAN: Aah!
CENTURION: Come on!
BRIAN: ‘R– Romanus’?
CENTURION: Goes like…?
BRIAN: ‘Annus’?
CENTURION: Vocative plural of ‘annus’ is…?
BRIAN: Eh. ‘Anni’?
CENTURION: ‘Romani’. ‘Eunt’? What is ‘eunt’?
BRIAN: ‘Go’. Let–
CENTURION: Conjugate the verb ‘to go’.
BRIAN: Uh. ‘Ire’. Uh, ‘eo’. ‘Is’. ‘It’. ‘Imus’. ‘Itis’. ‘Eunt’.
CENTURION: So ‘eunt’ is…?
BRIAN: Ah, huh, third person plural, uh, present indicative. Uh, ‘they go’.
CENTURION: But ‘Romans, go home’ is an order, so you must use the…?
BRIAN: The… imperative!
CENTURION: Which is…?
BRIAN: Umm! Oh. Oh. Um, ‘i’. ‘I’!
CENTURION: How many Romans?
BRIAN: Ah! ‘I’– Plural. Plural. ‘Ite’. ‘Ite’.
CENTURION: ‘Ite’.
BRIAN: Ah. Eh.
CENTURION: ‘Domus’?
BRIAN: Eh.
CENTURION: Nominative?
BRIAN: Oh.
CENTURION: ‘Go home’? This is motion towards. Isn’t it, boy?
BRIAN: Ah. Ah, dative, sir! Ahh! No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! Ah! Oh, the… accusative! Accusative! Ah! ‘Domum’, sir! ‘Ad domum’! Ah! Oooh! Ah!
CENTURION: Except that ‘domus’ takes the…?
BRIAN: The locative, sir!
CENTURION: Which is…?!
BRIAN: ‘Domum’.
CENTURION: ‘Domum’.
BRIAN: Aaah! Ah.
CENTURION: ‘Um’. Understand?
BRIAN: Yes, sir.
CENTURION: Now, write it out a hundred times.
BRIAN: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
CENTURION: Hail Caesar. If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off.
BRIAN: Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar and everything, sir! Oh. Mmm! Finished!
ROMAN SOLDIER STIG: Right. Now don’t do it again.
[CENTURIONS chase BRIAN]
MAN: Hey! Bloody Romans.