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Series 3, Episode 32: Gumby Brain Specialist
The cast:
T.F. GUMBY Michael Palin
GUMBY BRAIN SPECIALIST John Cleese
GUMBY SURGEON Graham Chapman
The sketch:
(Close up on a sign saying ‘Harley Street’. Stirring music. Mix through to interior of a smart, plush, ever so expensive Harley Street consulting room. The music swelh and fades. Knocking at door, a short pause, then T.F. Gumby enters, backwards.)
T. F. Gumby: Doctor! Doctor! DOCTOR!
(he goes up to the antique desk and bangs the bell violently; he smashes the intercom and generally breaks the desk up) Doctor! Doctor! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! Doctor! Doctor! Where is the Doctor?
(A pause. Then another door opens and another Gumby appears.)
Specialist: Hello!
T. F. Gumby: Are you the brain specialist?
Specialist: Hello!
T. F. Gumby: Are you the brain specialist?
Specialist: No, no, I am not the brain specialist. No, no, I am not… Yes. Yes I am.
T. F. Gumby: My brain hurts!
Specialist: Well let’s take a look at it, Mr Gumby.
(Gumby specialist starts to pull up Gumby’s sweater.)
T. F. Gumby: No, no, no, my brain in my head.
(specialist thumps him on the head)
Specialist: It will have to come out.
T. F. Gumby: Out? Of my head?
Specialist: Yes! All the bits of it. Nurse! Nurse!
(a nurse enters) Nurse, take Mr Gumby to a brain surgeon.
Nurse: Yes doctor…
(She leads Gumby out. In the background the specialist is grunting and shouting.)
Specialist: Where’s the ‘Lancet’?
Nurse: (to T. F. Gumby) He’s brilliant you know.
Specialist: Where’s the bloody ‘Lancet’? My brain hurts too.
(Ambulance racing. ‘Dr Kildare’ theme. Cut to operating theatre. The surgeon is not a Gumby.)
Surgeon: (putting on Gumby props) Gloves… glasses… moustache… handkerchief…
(Gumby voice) I’m going to operate!!
(We now see he is surrounded by Gumbys. T. F. Gumby is on operating table.)
All: Let’s operate.
(They begin to use woodworking implements on T. F. Gumby.)
T. F. Gumby: Hello!
Surgeon: Ooh! We forgot the anaesthetic!
Operating Gumbys: The anaesthetic! The anaesthetic!
(At that moment a Gumby anaesthetist comes crashing through the wall with two gas cylinders.)
Gumby Anaesthetist: I’ve come to anaesthetize you!!
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(He raises a gas cylinder and strikes Gumby hard over the head with it. Bong. Blackness.)