This week docweasel.com reports on the burgeoning display of breasts that heralds the coming of summer.
College Girls Prepare Tits For Summer Stress
by Sunny
Female college students from across the U.S. began preparing their breasts for a grueling summer of beach bikini displays, Wet T-Shirt contests, Nude Marathons, Parade Flashing (for beads) and Random Puppy-Airing.
“Throughout the winter, most girls’ breasts have been in a kind of hibernation,” said Travis McGoo, Professor of Mammariology for Phoenix University. “Now, with the many Spring Break activities that feature breasts, our coed students will have to prepare for the rough workouts their breast will get from going braless, skimpy bikini tops, wet and torn t-shirts, plus the effects of many strangers groping them as they bare their breasts for the rich reward of beads that passing parade floats offer.”
“I’ve been working out with my breasts all winter, so I’m still in pretty good shape,” University of Michigan sophomore Suzi Kane, 19, says. “If you just let yourself go, and get out of training, its really hard to compete with the girls who follow a strict regimen of breast exercises.”
Wardrobe is important as well.
“I’ve purchased a large selection of mini-t’s and halter tops in advance,” says Brigham Young soph Heather Lakewood. “I’ve been modeling them in private and for my boyfriend to get in competition form for the upcoming Best Titties competitions at Daytona and Fort Lauderdale bars. This Leslie and the Pussycats half-t is one of my favorites. When its wet, you will be able to see my nipples, areolas and the shape, heft and fullness of my breasts. I think I have a good shot at winning the week’s supply of Captain Morgan’s at the NippleFest this July. I’ve gone from a B to a C cup this winter.”
Kane’s classmates who have seen the shirt confirmed that it was “off the chain” and added they are eagerly looking forward to seeing her breasts (a whole cup size larger.) protrude exuberantly from within it and out of it at the many breast celebrating functions during Spring Break.
“In Florida, because of the warmer climate, we see breasts all year long, except for maybe a two or three week cold snap, and often this only causes turgidity in the nipple region, further enhancing the breasts,” says Professor Jonas Pricker of the Diversity Studies department of the University of South Florida in Tampa. “The college student in these more temperate zones tends to be more blasé toward breasts, because of the commonality and wide-spread appearance of them all year round.”
Directing his gaze to phys-ed coeds doing outdoor gymnastics on the grassy quad, Pricker adds, “The firm, smooth round globes of flesh, topped with twin towers of turgidity, straining through the thin fabric of the leotard, rolling free and braless, slick with a thin covering of sweat and swollen with physical exertion, this hardly effects me. We here in Florida just see it too often.”
Pricker explained that due to the length and severity of Northern winters, breasts were much more protected and obscure, causing a great deal more excitement at their “awakening” in the Spring. At colleges like University of Minnesota, which suffers long and harsh winters that can just be brutal on the breast population, breasts are sometimes not seen in recognizable form for eight or nine months of the year.
The Spring’s advent of Wet T-Shirt contests and Best Ass and Tits competitions were avidly awaited and keenly appreciated by the mammary-starved students, heterosexual males and lesbian females alike.
Many girls have resorted to cosmetic surgery to enhance their breasts
“I think artificially altered breasts should be banned from competition,” said Megan Carter, U. of Tennesee undergrad. “Its not really fair to have to compete with breasts that have no natural elasticity or sag. I think the international governing body for Booby Contests should step in.”
Experts are not surprised by the students’ breast enhancement efforts, as spring frequently brings about a heightened air of sexual tension.
“From ancient Mesopotamian societies all the way to today’s college campus settings, young people have frequently paid increased attention to sexual matters with the onset of warm weather,” University of Minnesota sociology professor Jane Kennedy says. “I have engaged in a wide variety of sexual encounters and varied sex acts with my young, virile, students- both male and female, though I am well past my prime breeding years.”
Lesbian student organizations agreed.
“Although we are deeply opposed to the systematic sexual objectification of women and their breasts by male heterodoxy, we lesbians are in a uniquely two-fold position of strength in these wondrous springtime months, enjoying both the opportunity to display our fantastic breasts to others, and the chance to enjoy an eyeful of the breasts of our fellow sisters,” says Meghan Thomas of Lesbian Students for Social Change. “I often compliment a girl’s breasts and attempt to engage her in conversation about them. It helps boost awareness, and sometimes I get laid,” she added.
Spotting a well-endowed tube-topped, female rollerblader speeding along nearby, she bit her knuckles, adding, “Wow.” before heading off to engage the lissome lass in a mammarian te-a-te.
Every campus this reporter visited found girls of all shapes and sizes, from waifs with strawberry puffies to plumpers with bodacious ta-tas, in training for the upcoming “Spring-Break” wet T-shirt contests, beerguzzling and “Naked Marathon” competitions that will begin soon. There should be some good action this year, as always. Look on this site for more photos of girls too drunk to care they are being photographed naked, spread-eagled and possibly gang-banged for all the world to see. Most girls will look back at their college years as the most active and productive years their breasts will ever know.
