Category: humor

So Hillary wins by 10%, the top end of estimates and poll predictions of her margin, so she will keep running, of course, and looks pretty good going into Indiana, where she is favored as well. In North Carolina she is inoculated from an Obama win by Bill’s assertions that of course he does well there, all the black monolithically mob behind him in a herd mentality, much like they did Jackson.
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This is a long post, and I don’t care. I had to get this all down in case I ever forget, I can read this and remember what a great time it is in my life and how good it feels to love someone so much and be so affected by someone who didn’t exist for the first decades of my life, but who has influenced it more since than everyone else who came before put together, and almost everyone who will come after him. I actually started writing it a month or so ago, but Christmas and different things going on in my life made me want to put it up now and finish it. So here it is.

I just started writing and more and more came. Its mostly all true. I don’t know if it will mean anything to anyone else, but its pretty much all that matters to me these days. Everything I do hinges on this single fact: I have a little boy to watch out for now. And I do so with an alarming ease.

I know you moms out there are going to say “Wait until 2 1/2” or “Wait until he’s 3” or whatever, but for the last year I’ve been dealing with a 16-27 month old, and I have got to say, the terrible twos are not that terrible. Or am I just that good? I dunno, you tell me:

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…calling themselves scientists scam fed money for their bullshit "studies" and dumbass reporters use it for "funny headlines"

Jawa Report posts about a “humorous” study that supposedly proves showing men photos of blondes makes them stupider, at least in a short term quiz taken right after looking at the pictures of blondes, rather than brunettes or redheads.

I hate these bastard “scientists” so much I hope they fucking die. This is yet another example of a blatant rip-off of grant money used for bullshit studies. I bet these con artists enjoy a good laugh when they cash the check.

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Its been a heady 24 hours, with visions of luscious lipstick lesbians and a mannish presidential candidate who probably wears less make-up than John Edwards, who’s butcher than Joe Biden and bigger testicles than Dennis Kuchinich (that’s not saying much, I realize) but hold your strap-ons ladies, this fantasy is over.

Mister Buzzkill is here to debunk all our sapphic speculations.

Patterico consults a buddy from the LAT, editor Matt Welch, a super-plugged in super-editor who knows all the beautiful people, is privy to all the insider insideness, and he is here to school us all how hysterically wrong everyone yakkin’ about a sex scandal is. Let’s forget for a second that the LAT record on reporting sex scandals is not very good, and see what he has to say:

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1st Radio Psychic: (show in progress) So I’m seeing a man with dark features and hair, like you say you have, he’s older than you.

Caller #1: Yes! That must be my father!

1st RP: He’s taller than you. I sense he’s passed away.

Caller #1: Oh yes, oh this is amazing! As I said, he passed away when I was a child.

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The Queen of All Evil posts 10 names that will never get you elected president (she includes my personal fav pick, Mittens)
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Leftist loudmouth Randi Rhodes’ dog, or a right-wing deep cover infiltrator? We report, you decide.

Err Amerika loudmouth Randi Rhodes, who famously advocated assassinating President Bush, was first reported to have been mugged, and of course lefties immediately identified her attacker, just by dint of the fact that any leftist ever attacked must have been assaulted by a right wing wacko:

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Our modern-day internet flame wars had their root back in medieval time, when a Frenchman, defending his village, would hurl the Word of Despise, which is the Grand Double Spise, dripping with contempt and disdain, back at the barbarian chasing him, causing the horde-member to stop in his tracks, nonplussed and bewildered and momentarily disoriented at the sheer power of the Froggie’s verbal thrust, then go back to the Frenchman’s village and rape his wife and children before murdering them and pillaging the town, instead of first chasing the Frenchman into the woods and cutting off his privy parts, gouging out his eyes, disemboweling him and forcing him to eat his own entrails until he died of shock and pain. A small victory, perhaps, but still, a victory, of sorts.

Word-Brundishing, a neologism I have just coined, is a sort of portmanteau of brandishing, bandying and taking umbrage, using words. The French are so adept at it because they are so inept at actual combat. The Gauls, the mirror of the Brits, are renowned for their stupendous defeats instead of their great victories. Waterloo, Agincourt, the Maginot Line, all have entered the lexicon of metaphors for great idiotic blunders and defeats.
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