Monty Python’s And Now For Something Completely Different
Scene 13: Musical Mice
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Host: Thank you, thank you Conrad Poohs and his exploding teeth. A smile, two fangs and an excuse me. And next tonight, gentlemen and ladies, here at the peephole club for the very first tiii-iime. Very proud to welcome, Ken Ewing and his musical mice!
(While talking, he is fondling his suit and hands)
Ewing: Thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. I ‘ave in this box twenty-three white mice. Mice which I have painstakingly trained over the past few years, to squeak at a selected pitch.
(he raises a mouse by its tail)
Uh, this one is E sharp… and this one is G. Uh, G, E sharp, you get the general idea. Now these mice are so arranged upon this rack, that when played in the correct order they will squeak ‘Three… Blinded… White Mice.’ Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, on the mouse organ ‘Three Blinded White Mice.’ Thank you.
(He produces two mallets. He starts playing the mice while singing quietly a very evil-sounding version of “Three Blind Mice.” Each downward stroke of the mallet brings a terrible squashing sound and the expiring squeak. It is quite clear that he is slaughtering the mice. The musical effect is poor. After the first few notes people are shouting ‘Stop it, stop him someone, Oh my God’. He is hauled off by two men. He comes back and has a few more ‘hits’ before being dragged off again. The crowd chases him into another building. We see and announcer being powdered for a show.)
Man: 10 seconds studio
(Crowd chasing after Ken rushes in. Ken gets by but the crowd is restrained. They are yelling “Stop him! Get him!” The crowd is shoved offstage.)