Series 1, Episode 12: People Falling From Buildings
The cast:
FIRST MAN Eric Idle
SECOND MAN John Cleese
VOICE OVER Graham Chapman
The sketch:
(Two people seated opposite each other at a desk. Between them there is a large window. It appears that they are quite high up in a large office building. Every so often a body falls past the window. They are both working busily. After a pause a body drops past the window. First Man talks. Second Man hasn’t noticed.)
First Man: Hey, did you see that?
Second Man: Uhm?
First Man: Did you see somebody go past the window?
Second Man: What?
First Man: Somebody just went past the window. That way. (indicates down)
Second Man: (flatly) Oh. Oh.
(Second Man returns to his work. First Man looks for a little. As he starts to work again another body goes hurtling past the window.)
First Man: Another one.
Second Man: Huh?
First Man: Another one just went past downwards.
Second Man: What?
First Man: Two people have just fallen out of that window to their almost certain death.
Second Man: Fine, fine. Fine.
First Man: Look! Two people (another falls) three people have just fallen past that window.
Second Man: Must be a board meeting.
First Man: Oh yeah. (another falls past) Hey. That was Wilkins of finance.
Second Man: Oh, no, that was Robertson.
First Man: Wilkins.
Second Man: Robertson.
First Man: Wilkins.
Second Man: Robertson.
(Another falls.)
First Man: That was Wilkins.
Second Man: That was Wilkins. He was a good, good, er, golfer, Wilkins.
First Man: Very good golfer. Very good golfer. Rotten at finance. It’ll be Parkinson next.
Second Man: Bet you it won’t.
First Man: How much.
Second Man: What?
First Man: How much do you bet it won’t? Fiver?
Second Man: All right.
First Man: Done.
Second Man: You’re on.
First Man: Fine. (shakes; they look at the window) Come on Parky.
Second Man: Don’t do it Parky.
First Man: Come on Parky. Jump Parky. Jump.
Second Man: Come on now be sensible Parky.
(Cut to letter.)
Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that sketch about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once.
(Cut to film of man falling out of window. Cut back to set. First Man has hands in the air jubilantly.)
First Man: Parkinson!
Second Man: Johnson!