Hollywood, CA– Sunday night the Academy for the Performing Arts awarded a special Oscar created specially for documentarian and liberal nutcase Michael Moore, dubbing it officially as “The Big Fat Dumbass award”. The award will be presented yearly, and in honor of its first recipient it will be dubbed the “Mikey”. The award was modeled from a plaster cast of Moore’s big fat ass.
“There are literally dozens of Hollywood dumbasses who could vie for the award,” said awards chairman Rex Combeschott, “but noone can epitomize the whole package, the big fat greasy slob, the yellow, crooked and rotten teeth, the bad hairpiece, the wacko conspiracy theories, the amateurish attempts at political filmmaking. They are excellent satires of the typical liberal “cause of the week” crockumentaries though!”
Moore is best known for his bitter, rambling, psychotic documentary “Roger and Me” in which he stalks various corporate businessmen, randomly shouting out race baiting diatribes and communist class-warfare dogma of the 1930’s like Al Sharpton with Tourette’s Syndrome. This hilarious send-up of liberal demogogery was followed last year by “Bowling For Columbine”, an over the top turn at poking fun at gun control nuts by exposing their empty rhetoric and debating points for what they are- hilarious fun!
The BFD Award, modeled after Moore’s own big fat ass.
“But they are serious protest pieces,” whined Moore, staying in character as he fielded questions from a hysterically giggling press corp after the Oscars. “I mean it, I’m against guns and businesses in general, I swear!”
Moore brushed off questions about whether or not he profitted from his movies or split the proceeds evenly among the cameramen, cast, crew etc. in a gesture toward actually practicing the nutty philosophies his documentaries espouse.
“I’m a celeb, I don’t have to live by the rules I want for the fly-over country hicks,” he explained.
Moore wowed the Oscar crowd with more of his patented “big fat dumbass” remarks about the President, the 2000 election and the Iraq war. Most of the crowd responded with lusty cries of “Moooooo-ore! Moooo-ore!” which were misinterpreted by some as boos.
“Well maybe they were booing me. But when I was a bitter, fat, greasy, disgusting teenager everyone laughed ame and called me a tub ‘o lard, lardass, lardo, pigboy, fatty fatpants, fatty fatty boombalatty and other cruel epithets. Well now that I’m an award winning documentarian, they aren’t laughing anymore! Ok, they are booing, but those are boos of respect.”
Moore proceeded to the award winners buffet and consumed over 20 pounds of what he claimed he thought was mashed potatoes but later turned out to be several cans of lard.