I looked up Gorefest on Dogpile and this came up, I guess its his logo or the CD of the concert.
This Fourth of July long weekend, doc’s cousin and good bud Jim is filling in.
I assume this is another one of those concerts about starving people in Africa right? I mean, how many concerts we going to have before they are all either all fed or starved to death, one.
I seriously don’t mean that to be mean but who wants to see that on TV every couple years? One concert should be the limit for every charity, then give someone else a try to make some bucks.
How come they don’t never have those concerts for America anymore, like Farmer Aid? I guess they are all out of business by now because they always had shitty bands like John Cougar Mellancamp or senior citizens like Willie Nelson and Madonna.
And these big festival concerts blow anyway because every decent band plays only like a few songs that you get to see then its on to some band you never heard of. When they had LiveAid they cut the guitar solo out of Bohemian Rhapsody. I mean, like, _come_ on_.
They had plenty time for Bono to lecture you and try to guilt trip you into giving money though. Rich people are big on other people chipping in on their causes. How about “Jim’s Weedfest 2007”? Who’s pitching in for that one, Sting? They write songs like “imagine no possessions”, then charge you $80 for a flippin’ concert t-shirt. Most of you guys are or were addicts, seems like you’d understand, a person needs an escape valve, especially poor guys like me.
Speaking of cash, Al Gore must have 2 machine guns for a dick or something to get all these rockers to play for free and all, basically, from what I am to understand he’s really respected for discovering the internet, I guess.
Plus, you people who are into the news know this: Al Gore was Clinton’s Vice President so its like you’re the guy whose best friend is a real horndog, always getting some, even if they are skanks or fat chicks. If your best bud is getting more ass than the toilet seat, you know you are getting A. leftovers 2. hooked up with the cuter chick’s less-hot but hornier because she doesn’t get laid as much friend (or, my fav) III. SLOPPY SECONDS!
So getting lots of trim makes Al Gore respected among musicians, because they mostly bang lots of skanks too, especially now when he’s touring all the time, he can finally get 50some years of oral he’s been missing out on, seeing as he got married out of highschool, I guess.
Speaking of not getting laid, I remember his wife (Trapper Gore) doesn’t like rock bands because they use cuss words, like Zappa in Dynamo Hum, is she forcing Al making them cut the cuss words out of the rappers stuff? Because, I mean, that doesn’t really leave much unbleeped, its going to be like a base beat of bleeping going on.
Lastly, Al Gore kicked ass on Southpark playing ManBearPig. That was based on a true story, he does go around the country looking for Yetis and Bigfoot and whatnot. I keep hearing, some people don’t believe in what Al Gore is preaching.
Take from your old buddy Jim, there is _something_ weird going on in the world, even if me or you or Al Gore doesn’t know exactly what it is. I just say science doesn’t lie and there are like hundreds of scientists who believe in Nessy and Skunk-apes and UFOs etc. so don’t put the man down, he might be onto something even if its just some good sensemilla-bud.
Ok, and yes, since I’m blogging for doc over the weekend, I _do_ read the papers, I know Al Gore got busted this week, I been popped with some roaches in the ashtray or some home-growen shake in the bottom of a bag I forgot under the seat, it happens. Cut the man some slack. He needs to cut out the Zan-Ex, Valiums (zzzz) and Adderals (I thought slutty celebs used those to lose weight? Why’s he so fat?). Stick to weed, Al. It’s a good buzz and it doesn’t make you belligerent around folks like these pills do.
And Al, for the love of God, get a decent car like a Z-28 or a Berlinetta or something. 100 miles an hour in one of those “hy-bred” cars like a Priapus? That’s like 0-60 in 15 minutes, he must have been going down a monster hill or drafting a big rig, something. Get a classic with your money, like a gold TransAm with the big firebird decal on the hood and custom plates G0RFST07. That would FUCKING ROCK! I’m gonna do that when I get a decent payin’ job. But get IRNMADN or something cool.
If you are gonna speed and carry your drugs with you, get a car that can outrun the pigs, my man. Or, play it safe and leave your stash at home, just being a doobie you can eat in an emergency. You can’t really scarf down handfuls of pills in a pinch, so just do what you want for the day in the morning, then cruise on that at least til you can make it home and do some one-hits with the Iso.
Ok buds, Peaceout and I’m out.
PS: Lastly, thank you Al Gore for discovering the internet, its saved me literally hundreds of dollars in the last 8-10 years in _not_ having to buy Hustlers and Screw etc. plus its got way more amazing stuff plus guys posting their girlfriends tits, I like that stuff because unlike a Playboy model its someone who I might actually score on sometime so its better material. I’m always looking for chicks I might have seen on the ‘net in stores and stuff because you know they give it up, and will let you take pics for later enjoyment and to show your friends.
Plus, its not all airbrushed until it looks like a frickin’ motorcycle gastank painting like the chicks they usta have in Hustler. Hustler was great, don’t get me wrong, my bud used to say “its like having a new, really hot slutty girlfriend every month and you don’t have to listen to her shit”.
Now, the internet is like having a new girlfriend every few hours, and with variety like amatoors, plumpers, puffies, even midgets and amputee porn for when you’re bored, so, hats off to Al Gore. I’m off to “discover” more of the internet myself via PornTorrentz.
//mood :: surly >:(
/currently pissing off the neighbors with :: Hellbent For Leather/ JudasPriest