The Queen of All Evil posts 10 names that will never get you elected president (she includes my personal fav pick, Mittens)
5. “Brownie” (Although not technically a first name, used as such by current Commander in Chief. The moniker “Brownie” is now synonymous with royal fuckup.)
4. “Rudy” (Are we electing a red-nosed reindeer – we already have Ted Kennedy. When was the last time someone named Rudolf or Rudy ran for a serious office? I did like the movie “Rudy” however.)
3. “Skip” (How can the leader of the free-world be taken seriously if he’s named Skip? Someone named Skip rides a skateboard to work at the mall; he doesn’t have the nuclear warhead launch codes.)
Even professional business thongs won’t make a good impression on the electorate when your name is “Story”, “Kimba”, “Precious” or “Cherry”
I would have disagreed about Rudy a few months ago, but here we are in Florida and Rudy is writing his concession speech about now I’d guess.
Well, you have to include female names in this day and age. You’ll never see a president
Susie, Suzie or Suzy
Bambi or Cindi (i dotted with heart)
Angel, Princessa or Delight
or any other trailer park type name
Having a cutesy name would probably also keep you off the SCOTUS. No one wants to nominate Pinky or Punkin or Sweetpea.
Any ebonic faux African name like Moesha or Kasheekra will fail with voters.
No misspelled version of an actual name someone’s illiterate mother gave them (Oprah, Britney, Leeza, Hillary, etc.) should be acceptable.
Poli-Sci post-grads working on their doctorate theses “19th Century Political Economics: “Sandi”, “Brandi”, “Chandra”, “Fantasy” and “Trudi”
If you want your daughter to grow up to be a world leader, consider Margaret, Indira, Golda or Catherine the Great.
You could also go with or Victoria or Elizabeth with a roman numeral for a middle name.
Why is it no one ever names their babies old favorites like Ida, Ethel, Martha or Hazel? Any of the virtues is good: Charity, Chastity, Verity, Constance, Prudence, Modesty Blaise, etc.
Beware of any name that has a diminutive nickname ending in “i” or “y”. Remember, two of the most unpopular presidents of their time were “Harry” and “Jimmy”. I think Bush’s downward spiral in the polls started when he insisted on being called “Georgy” at press conferences.
Sometimes just seeing their name on a name tag will influence your opinion of a girl. Your eyes are somehow immediately drawn toward it.
If you’re still reading, this post is mostly just filler between party girls pix.