Ah, the ’90s, when I spent literally thousands of dollars on DVDS. I love movies, I enjoyed the extras like commentary (one of the main things I miss about DVDs vs. digital files. I liked the packaging on some of them, the artwork was interesting (sometimes). I had 2 300 DVD carousels slaved together and I could watch movie after movie and probably watched all of them at least 3-4 times and some dozens of times. I bought a lot of movies I saw on cable in the early ’90s and ’80s classics as well. The only bitch was you could watch very few in a row because they would default to the menu and stop. But I learned a lot from the commentaries, about films and acting and directing and cinematography.
Then some DVDs started skipping. Some stopped working altogether, stuck on the menu. Soon many of them were unwatchable. By the early ’00s my players had both quit working and a lot of the DVDs, usually my fav ones, were useless. This was after I’d spent hundreds (not thousands, at least) on VHS. This was also after I’d spent thousands on vinyl over the years and probably as much on CDs, all of which became obsolete. So the upshot is I don’t feel like I owe the giant companies shit. They killed the goose that laid the golden egg time after time, the artists and actors and directors are insufferable smug leftists who insult the audience, the bosses are worse.
So from the time it became feasible to actuall download movies I did so and burnt them onto discs. However, discs sometimes (often) didn’t work the first pass, or deteriorated by the time I got around to watching them. THen disk space got really cheap so I started keeping movies I thought worth watching more than once.
So I watch a lot of movies, all eras, all genres. I save the ones I like enough to save. My take on these movies is here for you, all over this site. You’re welcome. It’s all free.
Employee of the Month (2006) Not a ’90s but one I watched this week, Dax Sheppard (who seems to be in every movie I see lately, that ever happen to you? You completely don’t know an actor, then you see him everywhere?) is a criminal gone good to get the girl… no wait he’s a ne’er do well employee who gives fuck all about his job until it’s time to get the girl. That was the other movie. Formulaic as hell but not totally annoying, you always wish they’d take one of these movies over the top and give it some twists but it’s like 10000 other ‘work’ movies where everyone fucks around all the time and never actually works. Score:3
When a Man Loves a Woman (1994) I’m biased going in here, because I detest alcoholics and druggies and refuse to accept “it’s a disease, they can’t help it!” If you have a heart attack and wreck into a crowd of people you are unlikely to be charged: try that with alcohol disease. Anyway, Michelle Pfieffer er, Meg Ryan (would have been better with Michelle) gets drunker and drunker, it’s her husband’s fault, of course, and once she’s on the road to recovery it’s once again his fault because he can’t accept she doesn’t need him to be a hero anymore, which is of course bullshit. I know someone who was married to a bi-polar horror of a a human being who wouldn’t get out of bed for days on end, stayed up all night gorging on candy and watching TV and leaving him to dress, feed and transport their (eventually) 2 kids to school while toting the baby for good measure. He would have loved his wife to quit binge spending all their money and getting herself in legal scrapes like mail-fraud and embezzlement, but alas, she persisted. And of course she blamed him. One thing that pisses me off is the lack of responsibility allowed drunks and druggies: I don’t buy it, it’s a choice, they make it freely and they should pay the consequences. This guy should have divorced her and taken the kids. In real life, it is inevitable anyway, and do it when you are in a position of strength because the courts will bend over backwards to forgive, excuse and accommodate her while villainizing you. Score:2 I like Michelle and Andy and watched it because of that. Garcia has a nice quiet confidence that is appealing. Oh wait it was Meg, not Michelle. So 2 instead of 3.
A Cool, Dry Place (1999) Another one about a mom who deserts wher kids, then after over a year of the father taking care of them perfectly competently, she waltzes back in ala Kramer vs. Kramer and it was all his fault to begin with and now fuck him she’s taking the kids. It is sympathetic to Vince Vaughan’s character, but these tropes pop up all the time. Woman can be evil, abusive bastards just as well as men, and a good proportion of men smeared don’t deserve it or were driven to it by a violent, abusive woman. The movie, eh, it’s ok, Vince being a dad in this one. Score:3
Swingers (1996) These guys make it look easy. chatting up girls in reality is a kamikaze mission: you are going to crash and burn maybe 99% of the time, but you have to be willing to pick yourself up and go in again or you will never be successful. This also shows the importance of a good wingman: if you hang with cool guys girls will think you are cool. If you hang with misogynistic losers, you will not attract girls. Fact of life. While good looking girls reportedly hang out with less than girls to make themselves look good, this doesn’t work with guys. In fact, hanging with a really good looking guy will get you his leftovers and rejects, and that ain’t not bad. Funny movie, fairly accurate on men-women jousting.Score 3 Vince being a swinger
Young Doctors in Love (1982) Like so many of these ‘classic’ comedies, not really very funny. Some nice T&A here and there and Michael McKean is the best, but not much else going for it. It has an ’80s feel you can’t fake, with the music, hairstyles and fashions, that is funny and watchable. Score:3
Corrina Corrina (1994) I like Ray Liotta, detest Whoopie. Whoopie plays a magic negro here (not my term, go to TV Tropes) who heals a husband and daughter after Mom dies. The community is unhappy about the inter-racial romance that develops between the Mammy, er nanny and the white dad and that’s never really resolved. Apparently they go on to marital bliss, although the timeframe of this movie that may have been illegal in the state in which they reside. None of that conflict or drama is addressed though, just happy ending. Score:2 god I hate Whoopie
Roots of Evil (1979) My god this movie is hilarious. German Neal Diamond-type singer stars as a karate master who just wants to be left alone and Deep Roy keep pestering him with wave after wave of ineffectual goons. At one point, they finally capture the hero and Roy has his biggest good throw him out a window, after which they have to run in pursuit of him again and he finally defeats them! You had him! Why did you defenestrate him? Great music also Score:4
Idle Hands (1999) Bad movie, turned off and deleted 10 mins in. You can waste your time finding out what I did in a few minutes if you like. Has Jessica Alba, for what that’s worth. Score:0 didn’t watch through
A Smile Like Yours (1997) I like Greg Kinnear, although outside of As Good As It Gets he only seems to play one role: the good-natured, decent Dad and husband (well, outside of the Bob Crane biopic, but to the outside world he was that guy also). Ok movie about a guy who won’t fuck around on his wife even when the gorgeous hussy throws herself at him and even sleeps in his bed, at which point he could defensibly say it wasn’t all his fault and maybe wriggle out. I guess Lauren Holly’s pussy is just that good, he wants nothing else for life. Score:3 ok little pic
Cell (2000) Just say no when Jennifer Lopez is the star. Five minutes in she’s annoying you and forcing you to turn off the movie, she is worse than Madonna because she’s been in so many more movies, fucking them up when they might have been ok had she not stuck her big fat ass in them. Score:0 turned off