Subtitle, so you want a stripper for a girlfriend or you want to fuck a stripper regularly.
Why would anyone want to do this? Mostly because, contrary to what other girls will say, they aren’t all hookers, in fact I never met one who was. They are more open and uninhibited about sex, but this doesn’t mean they are more likely to fuck around. If they wanted to sell pussy they wouldn’t be stripping. It’s a completely different gig: It’s actually a con job. You have your regulars and you try to milk as much out of them as possible without actually giving anything up more than a perfectly legit lap-dance.
First off, my credentials, so to speak. You believe them or not, but anyone who knows the subject will agree that my tips ring true because they are true. I met dozens of strippers, dated a lot of them, bedded a lot of them, dated regularly and lived with 5-6. Not one ever fucked around on me as far as I know. These weren’t long term relationships: some lasted months, one 5 years, all the others under a year. This is mostly all based on personal experience and those of my friends and people I heard about or talked to. So, not being strictly autobiographical and since some stories and characters may be composites or compressed, and since we don’t have a self-help category, I’m putting it under “science-fiction” for now.
But that’s not the point. Back to “why”, I did because they were beautiful, had tremendous bodies, they either took care of themselves or had great genes, without a doubt this was a temporary thing and a lot of them went downhill after dancing but that doesn’t concern us here. They can’t work and have hidden cellulite like a secretary or other working girl. They have to be toned and have great tits and a great ass and either superior 10+ T&A or be really pretty, sometimes model beautiful (or as close as I’d ever get). In other words, fantastic body would make up for some deficiencies in face. Myself, I always loved and fell for really pretty girls, this was above tits in my book and probably tied with ass and legs (yes, I’m an assman, tits are nice but they are for mama-obsessed jocks. I actually like them small and tight, but I digress.)
So that’s why: they are better looking and in better shape than 90% of the girls working regular girls you’d pick up at a bar. They are easier going about sex than most girls, meaning you can actually get oral (I’ve found a large percentage of civilians either won’t give head or do it grudgingly and suck at it, or suck at it even though they are trying to please you. Some of the dancers I dated actually enjoyed it and would do so with gusto.) They live nightlife though, so your job and lifestyle had better sync with that, more on that later. You’re more likely to get a 3 way with another girl with a stripper, and they are more likely to have uninhibited friends who will go along with it (but there are caveats, more later). They are rarely broke, since they get paid every night they work and they get cash. Now note that my experience covers the NICE strip joints, not the shitholes or “all nude” which is where the drug addicts, hookers and whores and sluts work. They are just gross. The girls I dealt with wore pasties and a g-string or thong at the final stage and were a cut above, looks, appearance, hygiene, drug use, attitude, intelligence (yes, some are very intelligent) class, elegance, style and poise. Lots of strippers have all this, and in my experience in higher quantities and qualities than your normal girl on the street.
So now you know why you might want to date a stripper. Here are my tips.
1. Be a musician if you possibly can My run was the ’90s til the mid ’00s and musicians were still cool, my spies tell me that doesn’t apply as much as it did in the past, when you were just a local bar-band you were automatically cool, now a days you probably need to be touring at least, even with a z-tier band. If not a musician, someone associated with bands or bar culture, like a bar manager or a sound tech or a bartender or something like that. There are practical reasons for this: in their way, strippers are in entertainment, and feel a kinship. There is one, if you’ve ever worked, however tangentially or short-term you’ve felt it. You also work late hours: some girls (especially around the airport where businessmen need to burn some time) so work days, but the real tips are at night, especially really late. Most of my gfs got off around 1-2am and this jibed with when a musician’s gig ended. Then you’re still jazzed up and you out for drinks, to eat, to an all-night bottle club to see another band or whatever.
I’ll be right up front about it, I wanted a really hot girlfriend because of my peers and as a trophy chick at gigs and etc. It enhanced your rep to have a smoking hot blonde in a leather mini at your side. A loyal, loving wife type who is 20 lbs overweight and dresses less than sexy just wouldn’t get it. Who you fucked was imporatant, but we all envied and respected the guy with the very hot gf who was great at sex and didn’t mind letting us know she was giving it to her man. I make no excuses for these boorish attitudes, we were heavy metal musicians, in our 20’s and hadn’t the education SJWs would later give us all. So that’s number one, if you are in entertainment and work late, you have an immediate kinship.
2. NEVER GO TO A CLUB AND TIP GENEROUSLY BECAUSE YOU THINK THE STRIPPERS WILL THINK YOU ARE A NICE GUY AND BEFRIEND YOU! Oh, they’ll befriend you all right. Do that and you’re immediately pegged a valuable john, a regular who might even fall in love with the girl and get her to confide in him and share secrets and all manner of pretend girlfriend stuff, and it will all be to get as much money as they can out of you. If you aren’t even regular customer material, they’ll scam you even harder because they don’t give a fuck what you think. One girl I dated and her friend would get free breakfast every night by conning 2 gullible dimwits into waiting until they were off, taking them (in separate cars) to breakfast, then ditching the guys instead of “following them home” for sex.
If you going to a stripbar for fun, by all means, tip, flirt, get some lap-dances, do the whole gig, just don’t expect to get a phone number unless you are Brad Pitt. If you are serious about the topic of this post, go to strip joints, nurse a drink, talk to the girls who are off at the moment but don’t monopolize their time, they are working, after all. If you can find out what bars they hang out at, or if your band is playing tell them to come see your gig, or if you are a bartender tell them to come by some night and you’ll treat them to your best custom drink.Invite them to a party, any ploy like that is good, but picking up a stripper at work is very very difficult. Their mindset is to make money off you, and tipping them puts you in a category. The most important thing is suss out, however you can, where they go when they are off, the clubs, bars, what beach they like (I’m from Florida) anywhere they might go for fun on their off hours. This is where to get them.
3. Once you find out where, go there when you go out This again is where the musician or bar worker or club worker lifestyle comes in. My runningmates and I went out every night: to schmooze bar owners, to see other bands play, to pick up girls, just to go out and drink (not get drunk! a drooling drunk doesn’t get the girl). Once you know where a stripper or strippers you like hang out, put it on your list of places to hit. For musicians and service workers, this isn’t just the weekends, we do this all week, which increases your odds of running into them. As in any type business, the weekends are the money-making nights, so weeknights are actually better and there’s less competition from other guys those nights as well. Just the odds favor you eventually running into a girl you’ve met or her friends if they tell you the truth about where they go for fun.
4. Now it’s up to you, hope your game is good Like the man says, 90% is just showing up but at the same time you have to swing the bat to hit the homerun. It helps if you can talk to girls easily, you don’t need comeone lines or ready jokes, it helps if you are naturally funny and confident and easy and fun around them. They are girls looking to have a good time, maybe even more than civilians, so even without trying to get a girl one on one you if you can get your gang to hang with her gang you get to know girls and chances are, if you are a nice guy, funny, have a little bit (at least) of spending money a date or some kind of gettogether, the beach, get something to eat, whatever, is not out of the question.
5. okay Like I said, all this ups your chances, but you have to be able to attract the girl once the scene is set. I never had much trouble with this, but mostly because I was fearless about being shot down and also very good at picking up visual and verbal cues. If a girl isn’t interested, no amount of charming them will help. With few exceptions (like eventually fucking a friend’s gf after she’s known you for a while) a girl makes up her mind very quickly whether or not you are fuckable or not and little you can do can change that. The secret is don’t waste your time with girls who have written you off. You know the cues, if you really look. Then treat the girl or girls who seem interested very nicely, don’t talk about sex boorishly or make stupid, gross moves, although working sex into the conversation in a funny, natural way is definitely the way into a girl’s, um, good graces. The more you talk about sex NATURALLY (don’t force it) the more it will seem like a foregone conclusion you’re eventually going to fuck. Then it comes true and you live happily ever after. Be patient keep plugging away and it will happen.
6. After the score. While I was certainly fine with a one-nighter, you get a sense very quickly if a girl is “girlfriend material”, as in, move in with you and have mad sex for at minimum a week or two then settle into something deeper. It can happen. But the 2 week sex-bingeing with a really in-shape, pretty girl who is great at sex is pretty nice too even if it doesn’t. Accept fate, what ever happens happens and if she doesn’t want to continue, for god sakes let it go, don’t go mooning over the girl or she’ll come to pity and finally despise you. Walk away and she might just come back, if only for a night or so down the road.
7. If you do move in together One of the reasons girls strip for a living is they actually like the lifestyle. Every stripper I ever dated drank, loved to get drunnk and did varying amounts of drugs. I’d never date an addict, but they were all partiers, no doubt. Coke was the drug of choice in those heady years, and having some helped things all along the way. However, once she moves in she’s not going to want to stop partying or going out, and if she has to do it herself she’s either going to leave you or fuck around on you. If you want a stripper gf and a relationship with her you better enjoy the nightlife.
8. Sex can be great, but realize she does this for a living She’s getting pawed at all day and doesn’t appreciate getting the same at home. I found gauging my gf’s mood and backing off until she was ready was the best way to keep her from getting resentful or even avoiding sex altogether. After she’s had time to shower and wind down, a young girl has natural sexual desires and things will usually come around. Except: sorry to be callous, but unless you are a natural born caregiver, avoid girls who’ve been abused by husbands, lovers or parents or who have had traumatic events. Or that take more than one kind of psychotropic drugs. Xanax, ok, but Xanax and 5 other head-drugs in her med cabinet is real trouble. Strippers (like all women) can be head-cases in the best of circumstances, don’t make it harder. For both your sakes.
9. Don’t be jealous, you’ll only eat your heart out, and don’t go to her work If seeing her give lapdances and have men’s hands all over her bothers you, don’t date a stripper and certainly don’t go to her work, if you pick her up stay in the car. Don’t brag or put your arm around her or otherwise make it obvious you’re her bf, you’ll fuck up her tips with her regulars, who need to think they are special and not that their tips are going to keep you in guitar strings. Good chance she’ll get pissed and you can both start a great big public fight right there and so you’ll get kicked out and banned from the place, which will solve her problem. Don’t be a sap.
10. Be aware that the lack of inhibitions also means she is apt to cause a scene anywhere, any time As much as you love her, as great as the relationship seems to be going, these are not girls to take home to mother. Or anywhere you can’t afford to a big embarrassing scene, because strippers, being show-offs and loving the center of attention as much as any entertainer, love public scenes. They might just to it to put you in your place by humiliating you. Some strippers, sad to say, suffer from low-self-esteem and take offense at just about anything. Introduce your gf into your family circle (who may already be a bit hinky about you dating a stripper) and some innocent or calculated remark could set your gf off, then you in the middle of a fight between your sister or mom and your gf, never a good place to be, and that fight will follow you home and you’ll never hear the end of it. Face it, 99% you aren’t going to marry this girl and this is just going to be a fun fling, but temporary. Act accordingly.
11. That said, hey, knock yourself out Definitely flaunt and flatter her at your gigs, keep her happy, don’t flirt more than business requires with other girls and she can be a real asset. I had one gf whom the various curmudgeonly bar owners who had seen it all really loved and she really helped the band in the public relations dept. She could also drum up people to come to the gigs and schmooze them while I was on stage. She was more supportive than any gf I’d ever had, really loved the band and the music and apparently, me. Alas, it did end, but I still think about that girl.
12. If you are going to have a long-term relationship, get her out of stripping No other way around it. Most girls strip for just months as an easy job when they are very young and then get out it when they can. It’s fun while you are at max party age, but it becomes a drudge quickly. And it’s not conducive to a long time relationship. Now don’t go in thinking you can save some girl from stripping or that they even want to be saved. You don’t have the money, for one thing. If they wanted that they’d get some sugar daddy to set them up (although I take it this is very difficult to pull off, all girls are on the lookout for these guys but do they exist outside movies? very rare if they do). This is after you’ve lived together and you plan on continuing the relationship. You can continue being a musician, although you’ll have to cut out the fucking around and manage the drinking and partying, but she can’t continue to strip and the 2 of you expect the relationship to flourish. This is just a fact. If she won’t get out, she’s not ready anyway and a strong man would walk away and be happier in the long run. Unfortunately, it’s hard to be strong.
13. Her stripper friends Since more than likely this is going to be a short term thing, keep on good terms with her friends. Dating their friend makes you infinitely more acceptable as a fuck/date/bf to other strippers. Also, all girls know that all guys desire the mysterious, mythological, mind-blowing 3 way and they will kid and flirt and joke about it endlessly and it might just happen.
Just be aware:
a. don’t say anything complimentary about the other girl’s body.
b. don’t ignore your gf in anyway, even if you are fucking her friend, kiss or keep some kind of contact with your gf
c. spend the majority of time paying attention to your gf
d. don’t go back for seconds on her friend if your gf gets tired and wants to lay back and take a break.
e. realize that you’ll probably never hear the end of this, no matter what you do, and it is quite likely to wreck your relationship, if that’s important to you
f. your best bet is to sit back in a chair at the edge of the bed with a fatty and just watch the two girls get it on, perhaps fucking your gf while she gives the other girl oral or somesuch, and never touching or remarking on the other girl’s body. this is not foolproof, but the best way of not hearing “why don’t you go fuck HER nice little butt since you thought it was so toned!”
Well, I’ll amend this if I think of anything else. This is a guide on how to meet, work, date and finally live with a stripper. I did live with one for 5 years but finally balked at marrying her and she finally got tired of that, but I wouldn’t have married anyone at that point, I just wasn’t ready, and I would have been a terrible husband, and if we had kids, terrible father as well at that point in my life. You can’t do it while you’re in a working, recording and touring band. There’s just no room in your life for both. A hot trophy gf was what I needed at that point and strippers more than fit the bill. Times, however, have changed and all my good advice may be sadly dated or no longer valid, but it gives you a taste of the scene at the time.