Scientists from the Alpha Centauri planetary system have finished an analysis of widely scattered debris after the implosion of planet A09 D435 D098G LK-897890, known to the erstwhile inhabitants as “Earth” in the language of the most cultured and intelligent of the native species.
Reconstructing both scientific evidence as well as existing archival evidence of monitored Earth transmissions, experts have concluded that the “Earthlings” (also known as “Man”, after the sexual characteristic of the most dominant and intellectually superior gender of the species) destroyed their own world by over-using carbon-based fuels.
Ironically, the Earth’s natural functions had for eons previously been sufficient to offset “Man’s” abuses.
However, video and radio transmissions record that on or about 07/07/07 by the Earthling’s own time reference, an enormous expulsion of carbon dioxide emissions was released by an unknown Man-made event.
While the normal, day to day activities of “humans” had here-to-fore quickly dissipated, this event was so catastrophically carbon intensive the natural fail-safes which had protected the Earth in the past were overwhelmed and the planet began an inexorable downward spiral into destruction.
Scientists have dubbed this phenomenon the “Algore Junior effect”, after a well-meaning but bumbling Earthling who traveled the planet spewing CO2 gases in his wake while preaching tales of apocalyptic doom.
Artist’s conception of “Algore Jr.”