docweasel.com
still an outlaw in their eyes

site menu

docweasel.com
blog
comics
games
monty python
contact

mphg 14 ‘Make sure he doesn’t leave’

  1. monty python
  2. mp movies
  3. mp holy grail
  4. mphg 14 ‘Make sure he

Monty Python & the Holy Grail


Scene 14 : ‘Make sure he doesn’t leave.’

NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Launcelot.

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!

PRINCE HERBERT:
What, the curtains?

FATHER: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the
hills and valleys of this land! This’ll be your kingdom, lad.

HERBERT: But Mother–

FATHER: Father, lad. Father.

HERBERT: B– b– but Father, I don’t want any of that.

FATHER: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show ’em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one… stayed up! And that’s what you’re gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.

HERBERT: But I don’t want any of that. I’d rather–

FATHER: Rather what?!

HERBERT: I’d rather…
[music]
…just… sing!

FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! You’re not going into a song while I’m here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you’re getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.

HERBERT: B– but I don’t want land.

FATHER: Listen, Alice,–

HERBERT: Herbert.

FATHER: ‘Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.

HERBERT: But– but I don’t like her.

FATHER: Don’t like her?! What’s wrong with her?! She’s beautiful. She’s rich. She’s got huge… tracts o’ land!

HERBERT: I know, but I want the– the girl that I marry to have…
[music]
…a certain,… special… something!

FATHER: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you’re marrying Princess Lucky, so you’d better get used to the idea!
[smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn’t leave this room until I come and get him.

GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get him.

GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we’re not to enter the room.

FATHER: No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn’t leave.

GUARD #1: And you’ll come and get him.

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: Right.

GUARD #1: We don’t need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.

FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.

GUARD #1: Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]

FATHER: All right?

GUARD #1: Right.

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: Right.

GUARD #1: Oh, if– if– if, uhh– if– if– w– ehh– i– if– if we–

FATHER: Yes? What is it?

GUARD #1: Oh, i– if– i– oh–

FATHER: Look, it’s quite simple.

GUARD #1: Uh…

FATHER: You just stay here and make sure ‘e doesn’t leave the room. All right?

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: Right.

GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?

FATHER: N– no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he–

GUARD #1: Oh, yes. We’ll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him–

FATHER: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here–

GUARD #1: Until you or anyone else–

FATHER: No, not anyone else. Just me.

GUARD #1: Just you.

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: Get back.

GUARD #1: Get back.

FATHER: All right?

GUARD #1: Right. We’ll stay here until you get back.

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn’t leave.

GUARD #1: What?

FATHER: Make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.

GUARD #1: The Prince?

FATHER: Yes. Make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.

GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course.

GUARD #2: Hic!

GUARD #1: Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin’ to guard him when he’s a guard.

FATHER: Is that clear?

GUARD #2: Hic!

GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.

FATHER: Right. Where are you going?

GUARD #1: We’re coming with you.

FATHER: No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure ‘e doesn’t leave.

GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.

HERBERT: But Father!

FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music]
And no singing!

GUARD #2: Hic!

FATHER: Oh, go and get a glass of water.
[clank]
[scribble scribble scribble fold fold]
[twong]
< PREVIOUSNEXT >

site

docweasel.com
blog
comics
sitemap
contact

categories

art
articles
docweasel
gaming
media

games

games
doom & doom][
stronghold
gaming

monty python

monty python
mpfc albums
mp movies
mpfc tv series
2023 docweasel.com. contact us with comments, complaints or suggestions email docweasel.com | join the discussion or bitch and rant at will at DWF forum

mp holy grail

mp holy grail
mphg opening
mphg scenes
mphg logician
mphg cast
mphg credits
mphg media
mphg album

mp movies

mpfc movies
mp anfscd
mp holy grail
mp life of brian
mp meaning life
mp live hollywood
mpfc soundtracks

categories

blog
art
photos
articles
eros
fiction
humor
opinion
politics
dw website
gaming
movies
movie interviews
movie mini-reviews
movie reviews
movie news
music
chords & tabs
live reviews
metal
music news
music reviews
music video
teevee