Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the first film soundtrack album by Monty Python, released in 1975, featuring selected scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail interspersed with a large volume of new studio material, much of which centers on a spoof screening of the film at the Classic Silbury Hill Theatre. Also among the new items is the “Marilyn Monroe” sketch, which Graham Chapman co-wrote with Douglas Adams – the pair having recently collaborated on the fourth series of Monty Python.
The album is billed as the “Executive Version” as a joke on popular “special editions” of albums that contained extra tracks unavailable on earlier versions. On the A side of the original UK vinyl release, the engraved text by George Peckham around the label reads: “AN EXECUTIVE PORKY PRIME CUT”, while on the B side it reads: “THIS IS THE SMALL DETAILED WRITING ON THE RECORD OF THE ALBUM OF THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE TRAILER OF THE FILM OF MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL – THIS WRITING IS NOT INCLUDED ON THE EXECUTIVE VERSION OF THE ALBUM OF THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE TRAILER OF THE FILM OF MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL”.
Musical works included on the album comprise a mix of De Wolfe library music, self-penned Python songs and specially composed music by Neil Innes.
SIDE ONE
- 01 Executive Intro 1:06 Executive
- 02 Premiere of Film 3:56 Premiere
- 03 Opening/Coconuts 2:56 Coconut
- 04 Bring Out Your Dead 1:03 Dead
- 05 Constitutional Peasant 2:57 Peasant
- 06 How Do You Tell a Witch 2:46 Witch
- 07 Professional Logician 2:51 Logician
- 08 Camelot 1:34 Camelot
- 09 Quest for the Holy Grail 1:11 Quest
- 10 Silbury Hill Car Park 1:01 Silbury
- 11 French Taunter 2:25 Taunt
- 12 Bomb Scare :44 Bomb
- 13 Executive Announcement :16 Executive2
SIDE TWO
- 14 Another Executive Announcement :29 Executive3
- 15 Story of the Film So Far 2:11 Story
- 16 Tale of Sir Robin 1:54 Robin
- 17 Knights of Nih 2:34 Ni
- 18 Marilyn Monroe 2:38 Marilyn
- 19 Swamp Castle 4:08 Swamp
- 20 Tim the Enchanter/Great Performances 3:29 Tim
- 21 Holy Hand Grenade 2:33 Holy
- 22 Bridge of Death 3:59 Bridge
- 23 Kenneth Clark :55 Kenneth CLark
- 24 Castle Aargh 2:46 Castle
BONUS
- 25 Arthur’s Song 2:31 Arthur’s Song
- 26 Documentary 5:47 Documentary
- 27 Run Away Song 2:27 Castle
MUSIC CREDITS
• God Choir, Fanfare, Sunrise Music, Knights of Ni and Monks Chant (Neil Innes)
• Camelot Song (Graham Chapman, John Cleese & Neil Innes)
• Sir Robin’s Song (Eric Idle & Neil Innes)
• Jeunesse, Countrywide (A. Mawer)
• Honours List, Magic Finger and Big Country (K. Papworth)
• Homeward Bound (T. Trombey)
• In the Shadows (No.3) (Paul Ferris)
• Desperate Moment and Starlet in the Starlight (K. Essex)
• Circle of Danger (B. Holmes)
• Love Theme (P. Knight)
• Magenta (R. Webb)
• Promised Land (S. Black)
SIDE ONE
01 Executive Intro 1:06 Executive
Executive Announcer Graham Chapman
Recording Engineer himself
(music)
Announcer Congratulations on buying the executive version of this record. You have chosen wisely and we value your discerning taste in deciding to pay the few extra pence for a product of real quality.
Everything on this record has been designed to meet the exacting standards which you have naturally come to expect. The record itself is made from the very finest Colombian extruded polyvinyl. The center hole has been created to fit exactly onto your spindle with all the precision of finest Swiss craftsmanship.
The audio content has been quality graded to give you the finest in listening pleasure. There is little or no offending material apart from four cunts, one clitoris and a foreskin. And as they only occur in this opening introduction, you’re past them now.
You can relax and enjoy this quality product, secure in the knowledge that it has been specially created for the lover of fine things and man of good taste. (FART!) Oh! Sorry! You can edit that out, can’t you?
Recording Engineer Yeah, no problem.
02 Premiere of Film (Live from London) 3:56 Premiere
Announcer 1 Michael Palin
Bob Ghandi Eric Idle
Dougie Nero John Cleese
Announcer 1 Live from the Classic Silbury Hills!
Announcer 1 Hello, and welcome to the Classic Silbury Hill, for the 3:10 performance of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I can see through the door of the gentlemens’ that the B-feature “Bring me the head of Don Reavy” has only a few minutes left to run, just time for me to tell you a few quick words about the theater.
The Classic Silbury Hill, formerly The Social Club of The Andover Parks and Burials Department was converted into a cinema in 1941, by Ken Poulsen, father of John, in the Gothic Renaissance style. The lavatoryies here comprises two free standard fixtures and a 12-inch enamel wall bar with self-rinsing bar and auto-samprile and were opened by Gary Cooper in 1957.
Well, I can see now Unison Marine Zapper, salesgirls here through two wars and six different Tory administrations, making their way to the front of the auditorium with their sales trays, full of ice creams, lollipops, sweets, dubbin, and broken glass.
There are several people in the audience this afternoon, this is an old age pensioners’ afternoon, and I can see Mrs. Skelton from the Customs and Exiles in row G, and away there by the statue of Pan, is Mr. Hallway, the local Seamen’s Union organizer. A surprise visitor is Mr. Bhutto, the president of Pakistan in Row K, and up in the circle is Enid Pickles, local representative of the Baader-Meinhof group. She is the only one armed here this afternoon.
Now, while the film “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” is being loaded into the huge projectors by Vincent Wong, the Sino-Scottish projectionist here at Silbury Hill, let’s look back to that never-to-be-forgotten occasion when the film was premiered in London’s busy West End. Bob Gandhi is the reporter.
Bob Gandhi Hello, and welcome to Old Compton Street, it’s a mild night here, warm for early April, and a large crowd has gathered outside to watch this great gala night for the stars.The cars are arriving quite fast now, here’s a beautiful Rolls Royce Silver Corniche, all white, sliding gracefully up to the doors of the cinema.
Commissioner Alf Venables, ex-father of Terry, steps forward, opens the door, and out steps a radiant Miss Taylor herself, looking absolutely stunning and off the shoulder organza and silk dress, and next comes Burt Reynolds in a huge red Ferrari sports car and… My God! Burt Reynolds has run into the back of the Corniche and Miss Taylor turns and makes a splendid gesture at…
(car screeching)
Great heavens! It’s Steve McQueen whose 18-gear Daytona special has somersaulted through the air and plowed into the back bumper of —
And who’s this coming through the windscreen of the Mini…yes, it’s lovely star Barbara Streisand flying through the air in a beautiful Bill Gibb creation…and she’s landed half on Roger Moore, looking quite well, and half on Jack Nicholson, who’s not so well, and who’s that under the back wheel?
It’s..yes! It’s Faye Dunaway! No, no…it’s Victor Mature, in the blazing frock
Yes, all the stars are here tonight…that’s Joan Crawford squashed in between the bonnet, Pete Murray and the box office door…and Shirley Temple battered out of all definition..
Announcer 2 Ho, yes, a great galaxy of stars there, but now here at the Classic, the lights are dimming, the film is about to commence, so, from the gentlemens’ rest room, over colleague, Dougie Nero in the rear stalls.
Dougie Nero Welcome to the rear stalls! I’m in Row T, just three seats along from the legendary seat 12. And now, the titles are coming to an end, as the film finally get well and truly all your own. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. Anyway, the film is now underway.
03 Opening/Coconuts 2:56 Coconut
Dougie Nero John Cleese
Announcer 1 Michael Palin
(coconuts clip-clopping)
Dougie Nero And it’s going quite well at the moment. Ahh… King Arthur in film: Whoa, there!
(Audience starts laughing hysterically.)
Dougie Nero Ha-ha, very good, very good! Well, the audience here certainly enjoyed that, uh, visual joke. I only hope the soundtrack does justice to it, because it certainly was, ha, a most outstanding joke. Well, it’s still all pretty visual so far, ah, now here is some dialogue.
This is the first dialogue scene, a very funny little scene this between Arthur and his servant Patsy there and two unnamed soldiers, standing on the battlements of this castle. The castle itself is, uh, I’d say 120 to 130 feet high, simple stone walled keep, uh, 14th century probably, and Arthur is engaged in asking the soldier standing right up there on the top of the walls, if he knows of any knights who might be prepared to join King Arthur at the Round Table and the knight amusingly replies in a cheerful and quite unexpected ma-
Announcer 1 Oh, shut up!
Commentater 2 Sorry.
continues with Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 2
04 Bring Out Your Dead 1:03 Dead
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 2
05 Constitutional Peasant 2:57 Peasant
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 3
06 How Do You Tell a Witch 2:46 Witch
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 5
07 Professional Logician 2:51 Logician
Logician John Cleese
Logician Good evening. The last scene was interesting from the point of view of a professional logician because it contained a number of logical fallacies; that is, invalid propositional constructions and syllogistic forms, of the type so often committed by my wife.
‘All wood burns,’ states Sir Bedevere. ‘Therefore,’ he concludes, ‘all that burns is wood.’ This is, of course, pure bullshit. Universal affirmatives can only be partially converted: all of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan.
‘Oh yes,’ one would think. However, my wife does not understand this necessary limitation of the conversion of a proposition; consequently, she does not understand me, for how can a woman expect to appreciate a professor of logic if the simplest cloth-eared syllogism causes her to flounder?
For example, given the premise, ‘all fish live underwater’ and ‘all mackerel are fish’, my wife will conclude, not that ‘all mackerel live underwater’, but that ‘if she buys kippers, it will not rain’ or that ‘trout live in trees’ or even that ‘I do not love her any more.’
This she calls ‘using her intuition’. I call it ‘crap’ and it gets me very irritated because it is not logical.
‘There will be no supper tonight,’ she will sometimes cry upon my return home. ‘Why not?’ I will ask. ‘Because I have been screwing the milkman all day,’ she will say, quite oblivious of the howling error she has made.
‘But,’ I will wearily point out, ‘even given that the activities of screwing the milkman and getting supper are mutually exclusive, now that the screwing is over, surely then, supper may now, logically, be got.’
‘You don’t love me any more,’ she will now often postulate. ‘If you did, you would give me one now and again, so that I would not have to rely on that rancid Pakistani for my orgasms.’
‘I will give you one after you have got me my supper,’ I now usually scream, ‘but not before’ – as you understand, making her bang contingent on the arrival of my supper.
‘God, you turn me on when you’re angry, you ancient brute!’ she now mysteriously deduces, forcing her sweetly throbbing tongue down my throat.
‘Fuck supper!’ I now invariably conclude, throwing logic somewhat joyously to the four winds. And so we thrash about on our milk-stained floor, transported by animal passion until we sink back, exhausted, onto the cartons of yogurt.
…I’m afraid I seem to have strayed somewhat from my original brief. But in a nutshell: sex is more fun than logic. One cannot prove this, but it ‘is’ in the same sense that Mount Everest ‘is’, or that Alma Cogan ‘isn’t’.
Goodnight.
08 Camelot 1:34 Camelot
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 6
09 Quest for the Holy Grail 1:11 Quest
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 7
10 Silbury Hill Car Park 1:01 Silbury
Dougie Nero John Cleese
Announcer 1 Michael Palin
Dougie Nero Well, as Arthur rides off through this stunningly beautiful, oh, but mainly visual Scottish countryside, a word about the car park here at Silbury.
Announcer 1 Well, the Classic Silbury Hill is very fortunate in having entirely adequate parking facilities adjacent to the cinema. The car park itself has an asphalt base rimmed with a foreign concrete strips and shale and brick nugging to a depth of six feet. The parking area could accommodate up to 65 vehicles arranged in a crescent formation. Typical of the skill and architecture used by Enid Poulsen, mother of Ken, father of John, is that the park is self-draining. Over to you, Dougie.
Dougie Nero And here we are back with the film as Arthur approaches another castle, uh, oh, 170 to 180 feet high, I should say, with an inner and outer bailey in the…
Announcer 1 Oh, shut up!
Dougie Nero Oh.
11 French Taunter 2:25 Taunt
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 8
12 Bomb Scare :44 Bomb
Manager Terry Jones
(voice coming through tinny speakers)
Manager The management of this theater wish to announce that they have received certain information to suggest that there may be a bomb located on the premises.
Patrons are requested to evacuate this theater as quickly as possible.
While evacuating, the audience may wish to avail themselves at the extensive range of facilities offered in our foyer cells display. Soft drinks, chocolates, and boiled sweets, a variety of dairy, ice cream…
(bomb explodes)
…hot dogs, roasted peanuts, old copies of Newsweek, big prophylactics, dobbin, broken glass…
13 Executive Announcement :16 Executive2
Executive Announcer Graham Chapman
(music)
Executive Announcer The announcement to which you are now listening is available only on the executive version of this record and is not available on any other version.
BONUS
Chorus male & female singers
(accordion intro)
All Arthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
All He didn’t come from Thailand, Tibet or Timbuktu
He didn’t come Prussia, Poland or Peru
He didn’t come from Malta, nor from Mozambique
Nor from the country where the national anthem is a leek.
Arthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
(accordion fanfare)
All> He didn’t come from Belgium, Brazil or Baffinland
He didn’t come from Sarawak or even Samarkand
He didn’t hare from Holland or from Hungary
Or from many other foreign places such as these.
Arthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
(key change)
Girls He didn’t sell insurance, or pots from door to door
Men He never went down coalmines, nor worked on a fact’ry floor
All He never had a foreman, or clocking card to punch
Girls He never had a moped or sandwiches for lunch
AllArthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
(accordion fanfare)
Men He never had a checkbook, nor used a credit card
Girls Nor low-rate banker’s courage…
Men …it would surely cramp his style
Girls He never had a hot-tub, or a cup of tea
Men And hadn’t even heard of Sir Edmund Hillary
(key change)
All He was unaware of atoms and all things nuclear
Ignorant of fish and chips with salt and vinegar
Uninformed of travel, beyond the atmosphere
Un-fam-il-iar with curry, and Australian beer
AllArthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
(accordion fanfare)
AllArthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
(accordion fanfare)
AllArthur, King Arthur, that legendary king
(accordion fanfare)
(fade out)
Interview with Terry Jones and Michael Palin talking about scouting and filming the Holy Grail movie.
Chorus male & female singers
(accordion fanfare)
[chorus]
Men Run away Girls(run away)
Men Run away Girls(run away)
All There’s no need to stay
Men Run away Girls(run away)
Men Run away Girls(run away)
All Discretion is okay
You can always borrow on the strength of tomorrow
If you can’t win today, Run Away
[verse 1]
All Ev’ry noble life, will fight for what is right
But if the other side don’t want to know
History reveals that a clean pair of heels
Is by far the best thing you can show
[repeat chorus]
[verse 2]
All When you’re on the battlefield, with virtue and your shield
The only thing to do is make a stand
But if certain death is near and you’d rather disappear
You can call upon your feet to lend a hand
[repeat chorus]
[verse 2]
All So if the enemy has won, just turn both cheeks and run
And don’t let foolish pride get in the way
Remember a retreat is something you can beat
Why not live to fight another day?
[repeat chorus 2x]
SIDE TWO
14 Another Executive Announcement :29 Executive3
Cheap Announcer Michael Palin
Executive Announcer Graham Chapman
Cheap Announcer This is Side Two! If you want to play the record from the beginning, please turn over! Do not play this side if you want Side One! This is Side Two!
Commentater 3 We would like to apologize to purchesers of the executive version of this record for the pre-emptory nature of that announcement. The brusque tone was intended for buyers of the cheaper version.
15 Story of the Film So Far 2:11 Story
Announcer Michael Palin
Reader Eric Idle
Announcer The story of the film so far:
Reader Doug and Bob are metropolitan policemen with a difference. Doug likes nothing more than slipping into little cocktail frocks, while Bob bouffants his hair for a night on duty. Still, as they aren’t in the film, we won’t give their last names.
Announcer The *Real* Story of the Film So Far:
Reader Pucky Reginald Vas Deferens is a nuclear scientist in love with Mafia boss Enrico Marx, who is himself married to Conchito Macbeth, a lively belly-dancer at the Belgian disco whose manager, Burly Ivan Crapp, has a naked daughter Janice engaged to J.J. Spinman, a New York private detective, employed by elegant Laura Herron to trace the missing million-pound bidet that Hitler gave to Eva Brown as a bar mitzvah present during a state visit to Crufts, and which remained hidden until a World Cup referee, Horse Jenkenson, was found hanged in a New Jersey tenement with the plans of a Russian secret weapon partially tattooed on his elbow.
In Brisbon, the Brain brothers, Nicky and Vance, torture a Mayfair psychologist, who reveals to Dora Brain in a tender and emotional death scene that his hair is not his own.
Meanwhile, the Kent Touring Eleven have trapped husky Matilda Tritt on a sticky near Hastings, and she reveals all before enforcing the follow army.
Peter Niesewand and Cyril Garfunkel arrive just in time with the Welsh Police, and the Harry Orchestra, and proceed to sing a love song which allows Dr. Indira McNorton *just* enough time to cross the alps into Geneva, where he meets Kon Rapp, a kung fu fanatic and cat lover, who frivolously shoots him, but not before introducing him to lively intelligent Norweigan widow Lanny Krimt, who shows him her inner thighs, where he finds the address of a good French restaurant, and unexpectedly meets Gabriello Machismo, an ex-Korean plastic surgeon whose frankly blond assistant Sally Lesbitt is now the half-brother of a distant cousin of Ray Vorn Ding-ding-a-dong, the Eurovision song, and *owner* of the million-pound bidet given by Hitler to Eva Brown as a bar mitzvah present during a state visit to Crufts, and which remained hidden, etc. etc. etc.
This they now do.
Meanwhile, Harold and Victor Medway III discover a newfound love for each other in an flashback near Devon, where they meet up with Doug and Bob, the metropolitan policemen who surprisingly turn out to be in this film at all, who kill everyone, and live happily ever after.
16 Tale of Sir Robin 1:54 Robin
Narrator Terry Jones
Start with excerpt from Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 10
(after the giant yells “Halt!”)
Narrator Yes! It was the dreaded three-headed knight! The fiercest creature for yards around! For a second after second, Robin held his own, but the onslaught proved too much for this brave knight. Scarcely was his armour damp whaen Robin suddenly, dramatically changed his tactics!
Continues with Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 10
17 Knights of Nih 2:34 Ni
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 13
18 Marilyn Monroe 2:38 Marilyn
Dougie Nero John Cleese
Thug Terry Jones
Woman Carol Cleveland
InterviewerMichael Palin
Carl French Graham Chapman
Problems with projectionist
Dougie Nero Oh, uh, well, uhm, welcome back to the rear stalls. There seems to have been a slight hitch with the film here at Silbury Hill. I can see Vincent Wong, the Sino-Scottish projectionist, uh, lashed to his projector, beating himself with a stick as he tries to put on the next reel, which the enormous grizzly is trying to prise from his grasp, and I guess, yes, yes, he’s on! It’s on and I think we’re all right! I’m sorry about that delay and back to the film…
Interview with Carl French – Marilyn Monroe
Thug You crumbbum! You always crumb your bum. Well, this time you’ve crawled too far!
Woman Oh, Jake, Jake! Why did you do it? You could have desrtoyed the tapes and none of this leftist would have happened!
Interviewer An excerpt from Carl French’s latest film. Carl, we’re all a little mystified by your claim that your new film stars Marilyn Monroe.
Carl French It does, yes.
Interviewer Who died over ten years ago?
Carl French Uh, that’s correct.
Interviewer Are you lying?
Carl French No, no, it’s just that she’e very much in the public eye at the moment.
Interviewer Does she have a big part?
Carl French She is the star of the film.
Interviewer And dead.
Carl French Well, we dug her up and gave her a screen test, a mere formality in her case, and…
Interviewer Can she still act?
Carl French Well…well, she-she’s still has this-this enormous, ah-ah, kinda indefinable, uh…no.
Interviewer Was decomposition a problem?
Carl French We did have to put her in the fridge between takes.
Interviewer Ah, what sorts of things does she do in the film?
Carl French Well, we had her lying on beds, lying on floors, falling out of cupboards, scaring the children, ahm…
Interviewer But surely Miss Monroe was cremated?
Carl French Well, we had to use a standin for some of the more visible shots.
Interviewer Ah! Uh, another actress.
Carl French Dead actress. But Monroe was in shot the whole time.
Interviewer How?
Carl French Oh, in the ash tray, in the fire grate and vacuum cleaner…
Interviewer So Marilyn does not appear in the film?
Carl French Not as such.
Interviewer Mr. French, you’re on of the film world’s most arrogant queens. I mean not just homosexual or gay or anything, I mean you are a raving queen.
Carl French Well, yes.
Interviewer I mean, a real screamer, a real “Whoops! Get out! Don’t mind me dear!” limp-wristed caricature.
Carl French Is that not in order?
Interviewer No, no, that’s fine. And I understand that you married the beautiful black heiress Hueyna Tanoy partly for the publicity but mostly to cover up the fact that you prefer going out with little boys.
Carl French Look, really!
Interviewer Carl, you’re an offending little poof, a mincing gay-bar loiterer, a winnet-covered walking perfume shop and an evil perverter of innocent little boys!
Carl French What!? Really! Is this part of the interview?
Interviewer No, no, I just wanted a few contacts.
Carl French Well-well, shouldn’t we be talking about the film?
Interviewer — for ages. Now, where’d you find them?
Carl French Look, I think we are still on the air.
Interviewer Oh, sod the fucking air! I just still get locked up with that sort of thing.
Carl French What about the film?
Interviewer Just a few addresses, please…
Carl French Look, we got James Dean in it, in a box!
Interviewer I-I can turn the microphone off if you…
Carl French And bits of Jayne Mansfield…
Projectionist is well again
Dougie Nero Ah, well, back here at the Classic I have good news that Vincent Wong, ah, horribly mutilated, though he is his partly dismembered shoulder bound together with an old — top hat, has managed to select the correct reel and we’re back with Monty Python and the Holy Grail once again.
Narrator As Sir Lancelot, the boldest and most expensive of the knights lost his way in the forest of Ewing, at nearby Swamp Castle, a celebration was underway.
19 Swamp Castle 4:08 Swamp
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 14
20 Tim the Enchanter/Great Performances/Angry Crowd 3:29 Tim
Commentater 1 Terry Jones
Commentater 2 John Cleese
Commentater 3 Graham Chapman
Gloucester Michael Palin
Sir John Gielgud (as King Lear) Michael Palin
Referee Terry Jones
Sir Ralph John Cleese
Chou En-Lai Eric Idle
Tim the Enchanter helps the Knights
Commentater 1 Tim, the bizarre and oddly dressed enchanter provides the knights with a final clue that leads them to the Holy Grail.
The beginning of the track is from Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 20 “Tim the Enchanter”
Great Performances
Commentater 2 A fine performance there in the role of Tim the Magician
Commentater 3 (Starts talking simultaneously) Vernon Tate, drama critic of the Transport and General Workers’ Union.
Commentater 2 by Harry Krepps, formerly of — now with —
(Simultaneous talk ends)
and a performance that will live in the memory along with Sir John Gielgud’s “Lire” at Stratford in 1952, Burt Lancaster’s extraordinary “Tinker Bell” in Peter Pan at the Globe in -65, Norman Hunter’s uncompromising “Polonius” at the Nationals three years ago and most recently, by Claire Bloom’s breathtaking portrayal as Jackie Charlton in Peter Hall’s “Romeo and Juliet”, where Miss Bloom’s delicate command of the rococo intricacies of Jordy Abuse was matched only by her tight ball control in the balcony seat.
But of all these, Sir John Gielgud’s “Lear” stays longest in the memory. Many people still recall his brilliant performances at Stratford that year, but I prefer to remember him one autumn afternoon in front of a hostile crowd at Molyneux.
The play had been getting pretty rough, with Goneril and Kent both booked before the interval, and Albany, Edgar and Regan, sent off on the hour mark. But the trouble really began when Cornwall blatantly blinded Gloucester in the penalty area and referee Ken Parry of Swansea waved “play on”, unleashing a storm of booing from the incensed Gloucester supporters which reached a crescendo as Sir John stepped forward
Crowd Boo!
Gloucester Is it not the king?
Sir John Gielgud (as King Lear) I, every inch a king, When I do stare, see how the subject quakes. I pardon that man’s life.
Referee Offside!
Sir John Gielgud (as King Lear) What was thy cause? Adultery? Thou shalt not die: die for adultery! No: The wren goes to ‘t, and the small gilded fly Does lecher in my sight.
(crowd booing gets louder)
Let copulation thrive; for Gloucester’s bastard son Was kinder to his father than my daughters.
(crowd clapping and chanting)
Commentater 2 An outstanding performance there. Sir Alf?
Sir Ralph Yes, he’s certainly very tremendous in terms of his talking and moving and gesturing and being an actor in general, in fact, in terms of his acting I would say…
Commentater 2 Chou En-Lai?
Chou En-Lai I was tempted to recall the Grenadier Guards in the role of MacBeth.
All (Marching) Oh, is this the dagger that we see before us? The handle’s towards our hands! Come! Let us touch thee! We have been (sound fades)
Commentater 2 The finest mass Shakespearean tragic hero I’ve certainly ever seen. Sir Ralph?
Sir Ralph Well, we’re going back to join the film in the sixty second minute in the terms of the, ah, where there’s been fighting and killing of the knights by the rabbit in general.
21 Holy Hand Grenade 2:33 Holy
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 21
22 Bridge of Death 3:59 Bridge
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 23
23 Kenneth Clark :55 Kenneth CLark
Executive Announcer Graham Chapman
Sir Kenneth Clark Terry Jones
Executive Announcer For the purchasers of the cheaper version of this record: it has already ended. For purchasers od the executive version, there are three more minutes of thsi album. These three minutes are introduced personally by Sir Kenneth Clarke.
Sir Kenneth Clark Hello. This is a very nice record, this is. It’s a very, very nice record. That’s why I like it, because it’s very nice.
(Telephone rings)
Executive Announcer Ah, no, that was him. Yes, oh, yes. What? Well, well, he had a bit of a cold. No, I promise you it was. Lo-look, please. We’ll miss the end of the story.
24 Castle Aargh 2:46 Castle
From Monty Python’s Holy Grail Scene 24
Announcer Terry Jones
(sounds of knights and police milling about fades)
Announcer Well, that’s about it, really. The film ends mainly visually.
(He walks away and closes a door behind him.)