Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Scene 16 : ‘Hurry, Sir Launcelot. Hurry!’
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[inside castle]
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
[outside castle]
GUEST: ‘Morning!
SENTRY #1: ‘Morning.
SENTRY #2: Oooh.
SENTRY #1: [ptoo]
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Hiyya!
SENTRY #2: Hey!
LAUNCELOT: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.
PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! Huy!
GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!
LAUNCELOT: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!…
GUARD #1: Now, you’re not allowed to enter the room– aaugh!
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. I have come to take y– Oh, I’m terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I– I got a– a note.
HERBERT: You’ve come to rescue me!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn’t–
HERBERT: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there…
[music]
LAUNCELOT: Well, I–
HERBERT: …there must be… someone…
FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
HERBERT: I’m your son!
FATHER: No, not you.
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am Sir Launcelot, sir.
HERBERT: He’s come to rescue me, Father.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.
FATHER: Did you kill all those guards?
LAUNCELOT: Uh… Oh, yes. Sorry.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I’m awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.
HERBERT: Don’t be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot. I’ve got a rope all ready.
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
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LAUNCELOT: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
FATHER: I can understand that.
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride’s father, that’s all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn’t mean to…
FATHER: Didn’t mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see–
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
FATHER: Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.
LAUNCELOT: Is it?
HERBERT: Hurry! I’m ready!
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
LAUNCELOT: Well, that– that’s, uh, awfully nice of you,…
HERBERT: I am ready!
LAUNCELOT: …um, I mean to be so understanding.
[thonk]
Um,…
[woosh]
HERBERT: Oooh!
LAUNCELOT: …I’m afraid when I’m in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.
FATHER: Oh, don’t worry about that.
HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]