Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Scene 18 : Legs/Idiot
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I’ve Got 2 Legs
Fat Man Terry Gilliam
Shooter John Cleese
(Fat Man enters, suspended from the ceiling)
Fat Man
I’ve got two legs from my hips to the ground
And when I lift them they walk around
And when I lift them they climb the stairs
And when I shave them they ain’t got hairs
Argumentator shoots him with rifle)
Fat Man: Aaargh!
How Sweet to Be an Idiot
Singer Neil Innes
(piano intro)
Singer
How sweet to be an idiot
As harmless as a cow
Too small to hide the sun
Almost poking fun
At the warm but insecure untidy crowd
How sweet to be an idiot
And dip my brain in joy
Children laughing at my back
With no fear of attack
As much retaliation as a toy
How sweet to be an idiot
How sweet
I tiptoe down the street
Smile at everyone I meet
But suddenly a scream
Smashes through my dream
Fi fa fo fum
I smell blood of an asylum
Hey you
You’re such a pedant
You’ve got as much brain as a dead ant
As much imagination as a caravan site
But I still love you
Still love you
How sweet to be an idiot
How sweet
How sweet
How sweet